Fifty Shades of Wild
by Yourimaginary
Summary: After tragedy hits, Ana doesn't have the energy to care anymore. She hops from one bed to another, downs one glass after the other and lives her life the only way she finds tolerable. But can she be saved? From the life she's lived and from herself? (CG is in this story)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer, Story and original characters are owned by E.L. James - This story and any new characters are mine.**

* * *

 **Chapter One**

I groan as the light from outside shines through the windows of my- practically peeling one eye open, I take in the room I'm currently in, okay so not my room. Oh god, I feel like I've been hit by a Mac truck. I manage to prop myself on my elbows, which that move alone has my stomach churning. Light snoring comes from the right of me, I turn and frown at the man laying beside me, I can't remember this ones name. Nice, Ana, real nice.

The grip on my waist from the guy on my left tightens and it's takes what little energy I have to _not_ kick his ass out of bed. Peeling his arm off of me, I manage to awkwardly crawl down the bed and stumble ungracefully on the floor. The rooms starts spinning so I decide to chill down here for a second. The coolness of the floorboards feels so fucking good on my bare back.

Shit, I got pretty fucked last night and in more ways than one it seems. I sit up slowly and look around the space expecting to find male number three but to my luck, there isn't. Not that two is any better, well actually it is. For me. I must've been off my fucking face last night. The last thing I remember was meeting up for a drink with Jose, everything after that is a blur, a messy blur. Speaking of messy blurs I can only imagine what I look like right now. I bravely finger my hair and yep, sure enough a nest has formed.

Groaning, I finally manage to get off my naked ass and search for a bathroom. You'd think after years of drinking my body would become accustomed to the poison and adapt, but nope. My hangovers are still as bad as the first. I walk out into what I think is the living room and trip over something hard-a person. I manage to keep myself up right only to take another step and stub my toe on a table. I curse out loud and earn a couple of groans from the zombies around me. I look down at my foot and notice a little blood on my pinky toe. My knees weaken and I start to feel dizzy. I can't stand the sight of the blood, it makes me fucking woozy, no matter how much or how little blood is there. Although I'm pretty sure the dizziness I'm feeling is 80% sourced from the hangover.

I step over bodies and furniture and get to my destination and great, there's a head in the toilet. I walk towards the toilet but my reflection in the mirror grabs my attention. First thing I notice, my hair; so much hair and in so many different directions. Second thing I notice, I'm naked. Funny how that's the second thing I notice. I move towards the toilet and as gently as I can, move the passed out girl of the way. Her body thumps hard on the tiled floor and I cringe. "Sorry" I whisper.

I wipe the toilet seat down and crouch over it to do my business, trying my hardest not to actually sit on the sit. Y _ou sit on more dirtier things than a toilet you know._ I manage to make my way back to the bedroom without inflicting any more damage upon myself or anyone else. I need something for my head, and I need it now. I search the room for my belongings, finding my bra and dress first, I slip them on. Shit, where's my other heel? I kneel down and look under the bed but it's not there.

I eye my purse on the dresser, along with my panties. I decide to go commando and shove them in my purse. I see my phone light up inside, _fuck_ what time is it? Pulling my phone out I see it's 11:46AM, I also see some texts and missed calls from Jose, Kate and Mia. I open the text from Jose first, it's a picture of me caught between two guys, one of them licking salt off my neck and the other sucking the lime out of my mouth. I look over to the guys in bed, and sure enough it's them. Hm. Cute. Shame I can't remember them,

I open the latest text from Kate.

 ** _Jesus Ana, where the fuck r u? Answer my calls or txt me back. We're leaving for the Grey's now. If u decide to come then u have to find ur own way there. - KATE_**

Damn it. I totally forgot about lunch at the Grey's. Mia came back from Paris yesterday and they're having a little get together for her. Fuck. I look for my other shoe one more time then decide to ditch it. Grabbing a hair tie and some Advil out of my purse, I swallow the Advil dry and put my hair up in a messy, what I hope will pass as a bun and make my way out of the apartment. I don't even know where the fuck I am, and I only have 4% battery left on my phone. Kate is going to kill me. The moment I make it out of the apartment building, I feel as though my retinas have caught flame. I shield my eyes and look down the street. An elderly lady walking her poodle stares at me with disdain as I hail down a cab. I know what this might look like to her, and she's completely right. I'm a walking cliche. I give her a wink and climb into the cab, leaving her flustered with disgust. My day just got a little better.

* * *

An hour and $120 later, I'm making my way up to Grey's house. That cab was the biggest rip off but at the time I just didn't care and I needed him to wait. In that hour I managed to shower, brush my teeth, wash my face, reapply some makeup _and_ make my hair somewhat presentable. I thank all the years of practice. I look at all the cars parked and mostly everyone is here. I have to admit, it's been a while since I've been here, or seen the Grey's. I've been dodging the brunches, dinner and functions for a while now, not for any particular reason but I do feel a tad guilty. This was my second home at a time but now, it's nothing but a reminder of my parents.

I push my sunglasses up the bridge of my nose, quickly pop two more Advil and ring the bell. A moment later the double doors open and I'm face to face with my Godmother, Grace. She's smiles excitedly at me and pulls me in for a hug before I can say hi.

"Oh, Ana, it's so good to see you my girl. We've missed your presence around here." I laugh and rub Graces back, ignoring the pounding in my head.

"I've missed you too, Grace." She pulls away and holds me at arms length, taking me in. I'd take off my sunglasses but I don't want my eye balls to fry.

"Sorry I haven't been able to visit recently, just been really busy." _Yeah, busy fucking and drinking._

She smiles warmly and links arms with mine, leading us through the house.

"Well I'm not going to fib and say I'm okay with that, because I really have missed you sweetie. It's bad enough I hardly see one of my other children as it is."

And there it is again, the guilt. "I promise I'll make more of an effort." I smile reassuringly.

Grace chit chats about the hospital and Mia as she leads us to the back.

As soon as I make it outside my legs are hit with such force I have to lean on Grace for support.

"Aunty Ana! Aunty Ana! You're here!" I laugh out loud at the chubby blonde bundle of joy looking up at me. She's hugging my legs like a damn tree hugger, she's obviously got Elliot's strength. I crouch down and give her a tight hug.

"How's my princess doing? Gosh you've grown so much since I seen you last, are you sure you're my Ava?" I look around the yard pretending to look for the real Ava. She laughs and kisses me on the cheek.

"It's me Aunty Ana! I pinky promise!"

She wraps her pinky around mine and I can't help but smile. Ava was the best thing to ever happen to Elliot and Kate. All of us growing up together, we always knew Kate and Elliot we're going to be together and they never fought it, which is why they've been together for seven years. And had Ava four years ago.

Ava goes to pull my sunglasses off but I gently grab her chubby hands and kiss them.

"Oh no sweetie, Aunty Ana needs these so her eyes don't fall out." I tell her as I pat her head and stand back up.

"Well at least you don't smell like a bottle of whiskey, I'll give you that." Kate voices from behind me.

I roll my eyes and curse her under my breath."I'm so lucky to have you as a best friend, Kate. You always think so highly of me."

I lean in and give her a kiss on the cheek. She's never been fond of my sarcasm.

"You know, you could of at least called or replied to my texts letting me know whether you were coming or not. I hate worrying about you." She scolds. I stroke Ava's curls as she hangs on to my leg.

"Sorry, mom, but my phone died." I reply sarcastically. Kate huffs and looks down at her daughter affectionately. Ava releases me and runs into the yard.

"Mia's going crazy asking for you." She tells me. I look around.

"Where is she?" Not a second later I'm being pretty much tackled to the ground by a screaming Mia. I'm surprised I didn't pass out.

"Where have you been?! Why didn't you answer my calls or texts?!" Kate's laughter rings through the air, oh God, don't spew, Ana. Don't. Spew. Kate helps me up, clearly still amused.

"Easy, Mia. Wild over here is still recovering." Kate tells Mia. I brush the grass off my ass and embrace Mia.

"I've missed you, Mia." And I have, I've always had a certain connection with Mia. Kate's my best friend and all but with Mia, I could always completely be myself. Plus it helped that we're the same age and love the same things. Partying.

"I've missed you too, I was ready to burst through your door if you didn't show up today." We pull away and smile at each other.

"You know" Mia starts, "They say the cure to a hangover is to drink more." She leans in closer and whispers, "I spiked the punch in the kitchen, you thinking what I'm thinking?" She wriggles her brows suggestively and I burst out laughing while Kate scoffs. Kate's never been a fan of Mia and I when we get together, says we both enable each other.

"As tempting as that sounds, from past experiences I think we should stray from getting drunk at family events." I hear Kate murmur in agreement and Mia pout.

Elliot's voice comes booming behind me "Ana banana!"

He picks me up and swings me around. I squeeze my eyes shut. My stomach starts to churn and my throat begins to burn, oh no, no no no,

"Elliot, please stop.. I'm begging you, I'm gonna-" I try to get him to stop but it happens.

I spew. I spew out all the contents of last night. I hear all three of them laugh at my expense as I lean on my knees and retch. It's only then I realize what they're exactly laughing at. I eye the pair of _very_ expensive dress shoes covered in vomit and fight the urge to throw up again from embarrassment. I look up and cringe when I'm met when icy grey eyes. Great.

Kate hands me a tissue and I wipe my mouth. "Uh... Nice shoes, were they expensive? They look... They look expensive... Well not so much now..."

Grace comes rushing towards us, Elliot and Mia are still laughing and Kate's trying to stop Ava from getting too close.

"Oh dear" Grace looks sympathetically at me and I turn away.

I've never been close to Christian so I wouldn't exactly call us friends or family friends. He and I hardly ever spoke, but from what I know, he's like that with everyone. Closed off, doesn't talk much, is hardly around. He was just so closed off as a kid that I didn't really bother trying to get close to him or get to know him.

"Christian, darling take your shoes off." Graces say. I glance towards Christian as he takes his shoes off and puts them into the plastic bag she's holding. She turns her attention to Elliot.

"Elliot, go get the hose please." Before anyone else can say anything, I scram.

"Ana, where are you going?" Mia ask's from behind me. I wave her off and mumble something about a bathroom.

I lock the door behind me and turn the taps on. God, I'm so embarrassed. I grab some toothpaste and squirt some on my finger. I clean my mouth as best I can and rinse my mouth. I haven't seen these people in like a year and I show up here late, hungover _and_ I manage to throw up on their billionaire son's pair of shoes. Class act.

I stare at myself in the mirror. "Okay, Ana. You're okay. Just walk out there with your head held high. God, I wish I was high."

I wipe my hands and when I open the door to leave I slam into something hard. God, you'd think with my coordination and reflexes I was still drunk.

"Anastasia? Are you alright?"

I clear my head and look up at Christian. Perfect.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine. Hey, I'm really sorry about your shoes, I'll have them cleaned, better yet replaced I'll-

Christian cuts me off, "It's fine. They're just a pair of shoes. But are you sure you're okay? You're not ill?"

Wow, I think this is the longest conversation I've ever had with the guy. I'm kinda shocked.

"No no, not ill, just a bit hungover." I take my sunglasses off and chuckle lightly. I look up at Christian and swear I hear his breath catch.

"Well I'll get out of your way." I tell him as I go to leave but he remains standing there, blocking my way. "Uh, Christian? Can you... Can you move?"

"Oh right, of course."

He shakes his head lightly and I leave the bathroom. I decide to step out to the front for a quiet breather. The musky smell of tobacco hits my nostrils and I walk down the steps and around the corner to see Ethan leaning against the boot of his car having a cigarette.

I walk up behind him, "Those things will kill ya you know."

He laughs and turns to face me. He pulls the packet out of his leather jacket and offers me one. I place it in my mouth, and he lights it.

I take a drag and savour the taste in my mouth before exhaling. I don't smoke that much, well not as much as I used to but I like to have one here and there.

"How are ya, Ethan?" I ask then take another drag.

"Oh you know, can't complain. How you doing Annie?" He replies. Apart from my dad, Ethan was the only one who called me Annie. I got close to him after my parents died, reason being he ran in the same crowd I started to run in. Ethan was always the bad boy, his sculptured body, messy dark blonde hair and piercing blue eyes, he left girls in puddles. He didn't give a shit about anything or anyone or so he makes you think. He knew he couldn't stop me from doing what I was doing so the least he could do was watch over me and make it known that I wasn't to be fucked with. The last year of high school, we got into all kinds of shit. Whatever shit I wanted to get into he told me to do it with him and no one else. He took care of me as much as he could. I'd probably be in ditch somewhere if he weren't around to keep an eye on me. I don't expect people to get that, but I don't really care. Ethan was there for me, in ways Kate, Mia, Grace and Carrick couldn't be. He was even my first time.

"Oh you know, the usual... Hungover." He laughs out loud and throws an arm around my shoulder. "So who's bed did you bless last night?" he asks, I roll my eyes take another drag. Next thing I know I'm being picked up and placed on the boot of Ethan's car, him between my legs. He takes the cigarette out of my mouth and puts it in his. Taking a drag, he exhales to the side, never taking his eyes off of mine.

"I've missed you, Annie." He tells me softly, leaning his forehead on mine. I rub my fingers along the stubble on his jaw.

"I've missed you too." I admit.

Ethan and I aren't a thing. There was a time when we thought might be but we weren't ready then. Well, I wasn't ready then. Ethan never pushed me though, to which I'm grateful for. That doesn't mean we don't take a walk down memory lane every once in a while, we both have needs and we're very good at appeasing them. But there'll be nothing more than that.

Ethan's phone starts ringing, he looks at the caller I.D and curses under his breath. I smirk knowing exactly who's calling him.

"Yeah, Kate I'll be there in a minute." He tells her.

I jump off the boot and make my way back inside. When I round the corner to head up the stairs I see Christian standing there, his face as impassive as ever. He looks at me then glares behind me. Ethan comes to my side and glares straight back at Christian. I never knew why these two didn't get along.

"Grey" Ethan acknowledges.

"Kavanagh" Christian nods.

I stare between the two, the tension becoming so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"Are you leaving, Christian?" I ask, moving the attention elsewhere. It takes a moment before his eyes leave Ethan's that he answers me.

"Yes, I am. It's was good seeing you, Anastasia." I offer a smile and apologize again for his shoes. He waves it off and walks toward a black SUV, his head of security, Taylor I think his name was, opens the door and he gets in.

"Guy seriously needs to get fucking laid." I smack Ethan in the stomach and we both head back inside.

* * *

 **Please let know what you guys think and if this is a story you'd continue to read.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer, Story and original characters are owned by E.L. James - This story and any new characters are mine.**

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

"We should go out tonight." Mia suggests before plopping some ice cream into her mouth. "What's Jose doing? tell him to meet us."

I scoop some ice cream out of the Ben and Jerry's tub we're sharing and put it in my mouth. "I'm not sure" I reply whilst chewing. "We went out last night but ended up going our separate ways." I shrug and take another scoop. Ava comes running into the kitchen and comes to a halt before us. She notices the ice cream and her eyes light up like it's Christmas. Mia and I laugh and I hand her the scoop.

"Don't let Kate catch you doing that." I frown at Mia and look back to Ava, whose managed to get more ice cream around her mouth than in it.

"Don't let her catch me doing what?" I ask.

"Feeding Ava, especially food full of sugar and fat." Mia takes another scoop and plops it into her mouth like what she said isn't any of her business.

"Bullshit." I state aloud. Ava gasps and places a chubby hand over her mouth. Shit.

"Aunty Ana said a bad word, didn't she Ava?" I glare at Mia who's smirking like a devil.

"It's okay Aunty, I won't tell on you." She gives me the cutest little smile and my heart melts a little.

"Thanks Princess, now why don't you go clean your mouth so mommy doesn't know you had ice cream." Her eyes widen and she rushes out of the kitchen. Poor girl.

"I can't believe Kate." I begin, "Ava's four, she should be eating candy and getting into cake, not fucking salads and green smoothies."

Mia places our spoons in the sink and I put the tub of ice cream back into the freezer.

"Kate think's Ava's eating out of boredom, She has her going to therapy now."Mia says and I roll my eyes and fight the bubble of anger in my gut.

"Elliot doesn't like it but what can he do? They've had too many arguments over it already." She continues.

I shake my head, I can't believe Kate. She's a great mother, but she's always been a hypochondriac, going from 1 to 100 real quick. How can she think Ava has a bloody eating disorder at four? I'd be worried if she _wasn't_ eating junk.

I wipe my hands on the dish towel and look around, "Hey I haven't seen your dad yet, where's he holed up?"

"In his office, been there all night and day." Mia rolls her eyes. Carrick's a hard worker, so is Grace.

"Well, he'd have to be if he's going to be able to afford your lifestyle, Mia." She flips me off and I let out a laugh as I make my way to his office. I hear Carrick's voice through the door, things are sounded pretty heated. I knock anyway and open the door a little to poke my head in. He see's me and his hard face softens with a smile.

"Buck, I'll call you back." He hangs up and stands. Closing the door behind me, I walk towards him.

"I hope I'm not interrupting." I say. He chuckles and pulls me into a tight hug.

"Of course not my dear." He pulls back and grabs my face, something he's always done to Mia and I since were kids and I can't help but giggle.

"Look at you, it's been too long, I almost didn't recognize you."

I pat his shoulder and reply, "It's the old age, it'll do that to you." He laughs, pulls a seat out for me and moves back to his. We sit in comfortable silence for a moment while I take in his office. I remember having to sit in here with Mia when we were young, with both Ray and Carrick scolding us for whatever trouble we got ourselves into. But the last time I was in here, it was to go over my parents will and finalize a bunch of legal bullshit I was too high to understand at the time. But what I did understand; my parents left me everything.

Ray and Carrick were like brothers, they grew up and even went to law school together. When they graduated they built their law firm from scratch. Grey & Steele lawyers. It became the most successful firm in DC. I had no interest in becoming a partner of any sort so I gave my side of ownership to Carrick. It's still called Grey & Steele lawyers, he won't ever change it.

My parents too, worked very hard, so to say I'm set for life would be an understatement. To say I deserve any of the money or properties they worked their asses for however, would be an overstatement.

"So how've you been, Ana?" I sigh and sit back in my seat and study my cuticles like they're the most fascinating thing on earth.

"Eh, still alive and rich so can't complain." I smirk over at Carrick who doesn't seem amused in the slightest.

"I heard you're unemployed again. Tell me, did you quit or did you get fired this time?" I fight the urge to roll my eyes at the man who fathered me from my late teen to adult years. Of course he heard.

"Turns out it's not very professional to show up to work intoxicated. Who knew right? I mean it didn't say anywhere in my contract that I _couldn't_ do that." Carrick shakes his head and looks at the framed photo of him and my dad on his desk. Carrick was never the same after dad died, we all say a part of him died right along with Ray that night. I clear my throat and sit up straighter,"I'll find something else, and hey, I'll even make sure I stay there for at least 2, 3 months tops." Carrick chuckles and leans back into his sit, folding his arms across his chest.

"You know, you've always had your fathers wit and mothers beauty. A combination like that, you could rule the world." He says. I feel my stomach drop the slightest at the memory of my beautiful mother. "I'll ask around. I can have something set up for you in the next week or so."

I shake my head and reply, "I can find something on my own. You really don't need to set anything up."

"It still doesn't hurt to keep an eye out. But remember, I can always have a position made for you at the firm." I genuinely smile and stand.

"Thanks Carrick but you know how I feel about working at the firm." The understanding smile he gives me proves he does. "Well, I better head back out, I just wanted to pop in and say hi. Oh and don't stay in here too long. Mia's getting restless."

"Ah yes, my other wandering daughter. How I've been blessed to have the both of you." I scoff and open the door, "Well I'm glad you realize just how blessed you are." I close the door to Carrick chuckling and head back out.

* * *

"Ana, Kate agreed to come out tonight! so has Elliot." Mia states excitedly. I raise a brow at a bemused Kate.

"Is what I'm hearing true? It can't be. Kate, leaving Ava for a few hours to have, dare I say, _fun?"_ I ask.Mia laughs while Kate throws a chip at me.

"Ha-Ha, we have a comedian over here people."

I smirk and take a seat next to Kate. "So who convinced you to come out tonight?" I ask her.

"Who do you think?" We both look towards Mia whose texting feverishly.

I bump shoulders with Kate, "Well, it should be fun." I look around the yard. "Where's Ethan?" I ask.

"Oh he had to leave, he told me to tell you he'll catch up with us later." Kate replies, I nod my head and take a sip of my water.

"So you leaving Ava here for the night?" I ask, Kate sighs and bites her thumbnail.

"Yeah, we'll pick her up tomorrow morning but if I have my way, it'll be tonight."

I rub her knee reassuringly and tell her, "Ava will be fine, You'll be fine, it'll all be fine, don't stress."

She offers a small smile and nods her head. "No, I know, it's just you know me, I always think the worst."

Mia scoffs, "Yeah you do." I can't help but smirk a little.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean, Mia?" Kate demands getting all defensive. Mia pulls her attention away from her phone to us.

"Kate, you're overbearing." She states.

My eyes practically bulge out of their sockets and I have to cough down the laughter in my throat. I can feel the heat radiating off of Kate.

It doesn't take long for Kate to fire back. "Overbearing? You want to talk overbearing, Mia? How about you? Expecting everyone to just adapt to your way of living, your parents, your brothers, you expect everything to just be handed to you."

Mia's eye squint in anger while Kate crosses her arms defiantly. "Yeah, I said it. I said what we're all thinking." Here we go, I roll my eyes and take another sip of my water.

"And don't get me started on you, Ana." I choke on the fluid going down my throat and cough. "What the hell did I do?" I ask incredulously, Mia laughs, clearly enjoying this.

"You're just as bad as Mia. You're so stuck in your toxic lifestyle, you won't let anyone in or anyone help when you clearly need it. I mean, do you even remember last night or who's bed you woke up in?"

I stare at Kate in shock and place a hand over my heart. "Wow. I'm offended-" Mia bursts out laughing, "She doesn't remember!" She states, clutching her stomach in a fit of laughter.

I glare at Mia and flick a grape at her head. I turn to Kate, "Well at least I don't obsess over my daughters weight. Like come on, she's fucking four years old and you have her going to therapy because you think she's eating out of boredom? That's ridiculous."

"Oh okay, Ana. Because you have a child right? I don't expect you two to understand, especially when you're not mothers."

"I don't need to be a mother to understand that you're crazy over this, Kate. Let the girl eat what she wants, in moderation yes but come on, she's going to grow out of it as she gets older. You're acting like she's morbidly obese, how do you think that's going to effect her self esteem growing up?" I reply.

Kate shakes her head, "You don't understand." she mumbles. The three of us sit there in silence for at least a minute. Kate frowning in the distance, Mia bouncing her knee, a nervous habit she's had since I can remember.

"So... tonight?" Mia asks. I look at Kate. "We'll meet you there at 10." she replies. We all look to each other and just smile.

* * *

It's 6:30 in the evening by the time I get home. I throw my keys on the breakfast bar and boil the pot to make some coffee. It was good seeing everyone today. It felt as though we've never been apart, which is something I adore. The morning didn't start out too great, and throwing up on Christians shoes wasn't exactly fun but seeing everyone again, It made me realize that absence does make the heart grow fonder.

I kick my shoes off, not caring where they end up and turn on the sound system. Thank God my hangover faded. My favourite thing about this apartment? Well, apart from the bathtub, is the sound system. I had Elliot's guys set me up and install soundproof walls. I'm just below the penthouse in this building and even though I still have my own level, I don't like knowing people can hear what I'm listening to.

Kings of Leon's 'Sex is on fire' starts playing from every direction of the apartment and I start bopping my head to the beat. I pour the coffee into my mug and stir, when the chorus comes up I fist the spoon like a mic and start belting out the lyrics. If it's one thing I've mastered since living alone? It's air guitar and drums.

I'm still dancing and singing along when in the middle of the bridge I feel hands grab hold of my hips, I spin around so fast I lose my footing and fall right on my ass. Jose throws his head back laughing and I get up and turn the music off.

"Fuck, Jose. You scared the shit out of me." I punch him in the arm and he winces. I grab another mug out of the cupboard and make him a coffee. He sit's on the bar stool, rubbing his arm.

"Sorry but I just couldn't resist, you looked like you were having so much fun and I wanted to be apart of it."

I roll my eyes and push the mug towards him. I gave Jose a key to my place, he insisted so he can make sure I'm still alive every now and then but I'm pretty sure it's just so he can use my tub whenever he wants.

"So where'd you disappear to last night?" I ask as I blow on my coffee. Jose looks to the side and shrugs all innocently, like he's anything but. "Or should I ask, _who_ did you disappear with?"

Jose takes a sip of his coffee, "Now sweetie, you know I don't kiss and tell." I spurt my coffee all over Jose's face and laugh out loud.

"Ugh, gross Ana!" He yells in disgust. I throw him a dish towel as he scowls at me, While I'm still laughing.

"Sorry, but you had that coming."

He shrugs and sits up straighter. "You're right, plus I've been literally dying all day, like _literally_ dying all day to tell you, you just don't understand." I roll my eyes and wipe a bit of coffee off the bench. "That's why I came over here, FYI, your phone is off, thought I'd let you know and you should fix that."

"Thanks for that Sherlock obvious, I'm charging it now." I lean on the counter and gesture for Jose to spill. He's all to eager to comply.

"Well last night, while you were busy being a patty between two buns, I met the love of my life." He sighs dreamily and spins on the bar stool. Jose's fallen in love with so many men, I've lost count. I should probably start a tally.

"He was so dreamy, Chica. I mean I don't want to get into details here but, Best. Sex. Of. My. Life." I laugh and take another sip of my coffee. "I mean I can go into detail if you want?" He offers and I shake my head feverishly.

"Not necessary, Jose, but I appreciate it."

"Your loss. Well he owns a bunch of clubs all over Seattle, the one we were at last night? His."I nod my head in approval,

"Nice, so when are you seeing him next?" Jose spins again in the stool.

"Tonight! His new club on Pine St is having their opening, and we're VIP girl!" hm, opening night, this should be fun.

"You get certain privileges when you sleep with the boss." Jose states, waving it off like it's obvious.

"Sounds great. Mia, Kate and Elliot wanted to come out tonight so is it cool if they meet us there?"

"Already ahead of you, Mia knows the time and place." I feel excitement and anticipation flutter in my stomach, it's been so long since we all had a night out together. I can't wait.

* * *

 **Please let me know what you think :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer, Story and original characters are owned by E.L. James - This story and any new characters are mine.**

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

We walk pass the one block line up, earning a few snickers along the way. Girls have actually stopped Jose to shove their breasts against him in hopes to skip the queue. Not that that's the only reason women would want his attention. Jose's an attractive man, at 6"2, caramel skinned with exotic Spanish features to compliment? He'd have no problem getting women to go home with him. So it's always funny watching him peel them off and pat their heads like they're children.

Jose wraps an arm around me as we pass the eager flock.

"God, women scare me, Ana." He shudders.

I laugh and wrap an arm around his waist. "We're not that bad, well most of us, hm, some of us aren't."

"Gee, that's reassuring." he replies.

We walk up to the bouncer, I look down at my phone while Jose talks to him. 10:13PM. It's still pretty early. Jose places his hand on the small of back as he guides me through. As we walk into the club I'm instantly impressed and eager. It's a two story layout, there's people in booths, on the dance floor, against the walls and at the bar. People in line are gonna be waiting a while because this house is full. The air is thick with heat and alcohol. I take in the atmosphere, itching to be a part of it. The music is pumping so loud you can hardly hear yourself think. The array of strobe lighting is so mesmerizing it takes me a moment to realize Jose dragging me up the stairs.

"VIP!" He yells over the music.

I nod my head and let him led the way. We pass a waiter walking around carrying a tray of Jell-O shots, I snag four and give him a wink. Downing two I hand the others to Jose who shots them down. I love Jell-O shots. We enter the VIP section and I'm loving it, the floor is spacious and the plush leather booths and love seats are placed aesthetically whilst still offering privacy. I walk over to the balcony and look out over the dance floor.

People upon people dancing with each other, on each other, I eye the bar and contemplate whether to wait for the rest to arrive. I tap my fingers on the railing impatiently. Jose calls me over and I turn to see him in the warm embrace of another man. I walk over with smile.

"Chica, this is Alex, Alex, this is my best girl, Ana."' Jose introduces us and Alex takes my hand and places a warm kiss on it. I can see why Jose's been swooning. Alex looks to be in his early to mid thirties, and has the whole classically handsome thing going for him.

"Pleasure to meet you, Ana." He says warmly.

"Please, the pleasures all mine." I reply with a smile.

I give Jose the look of approval, he fans himself and looks away, blushing no doubt.

"I'd love to stay and chat with you both but opening night and all, plenty to do."

I nod in understanding as he kisses Jose on the lips and promises to meet up with him in a bit. After Alex leaves I give Jose a playful shove.

"You weren't kidding when you said he was dreamy, damn."

"I bet _now_ you want all the sexy details huh?" We both laugh as my phone starts ringing, it's Mia.

"Hey Mia, are you here?"

 _"Hey! Yeah we're just pulling up now, you know the queue is over two blocks long?!"_

"Shit, it was only one block when we got here."

 _"Yeah well lucky one of us is banging the owner huh? Hate to be stuck in that lineup._ "

I hear someone unrecognizable mutter something in the background.

 _"Oh shush, boring."_ Mia spits out.

 _"Anyway, we'll see you in a few, send Jose down."_ I

agree and hang up. While Jose goes to greet them I move back over to the balcony and watch the crowd of gyrating bodies. My body starts moving to the soft trap track blaring through the place, I can feel the bass thump under my feet. This is what I love. The music, the environment, it's a special kind of drug that I just want to choke on at times.

I decide I can't wait any longer and go to the bar to order our first round. As I'm moving through the crowd a pair of arms snake their way around my waist, I gently pull them off and smile at the guy behind me, hm, he's cute in a frat boy kind of way with his polo shirt and chinos.

"Maybe later" I yell over the music and point to the bar.

He winks and turns to dance with the next girl that passes him. The bar is packed with people ordering and getting their drinks. I manage to squeeze through two girls doing shots and lean on the counter, making sure my breasts are pushed out and on view.

It doesn't take too long for the bartender to look my way and serve me. I hear a guy groan, clearly pissed off, he's probably been waiting for a while. The bartender comes up to me and leans on the counter, moving in closer to my face.

His rich brown eyes travel from my face, to my neck, and finally to the D cup jewels that no doubt caught his attention in the first place. His eyes linger longer than necessary and I have to refrain from snapping my fingers at him. One thing you don't wanna do, is piss off the bartender.

His eyes finally decide to meet mine. "What can I do for you sweetheart?" he asks.

And oh my, he has a southern accent.

I shoot off my order, "Can I grab 12 shots of tequila, 2 beers, a sangria and bottle of water please?"

The bartender raises his brows at me, no doubt in shock. I smile innocently and give my lip a little bite. He chuckles and shakes his head.

"You got a booth, sweetheart?" He asks, I turn and point the VIP floor.

"Got it, I'll have them up real soon." He winks and eyes my breasts once more.

I start to pull out some cash when he places his hand in mine.

"On the house, just make sure you down a shot for me." I smile and yell out a thanks.

Hell, I'll down 5 shots for him. I make my way back upstairs and see Mia chatting enthusiastically with Jose. She's wearing a gorgeous grey tube dress that clings to her curves like a second skin, her pixie cut is gelled down giving her an edgy yet sophisticated look. Paris obviously agreed with her, she looks fantastic.

Her eyes land on me and she sequels, we give each other a quick hug and take a seat in the booth. Thank God the music isn't as deafening up here as it is on the dance floor.

"You look stunning, Ana! I love that dress. Your boobs look amazing in it!" Mia gushes.

Jose cups a boob and nods his head in agreement. "They do, Ana."'

I Smack his arm away and laugh. I'm wearing a dark blue,long sleeve, deep V dress that stops mid thigh and clings to every curve of my body, I topped it off with some nude pumps, no accessories. I gather my curled hair to the side and lean towards Mia.

"Where's Kate and Elliot?" I ask.

"I think they went looking for you" Mia replies. I nod and decide to wait here until they come back, if I go to look for them now then we'll be dodging each other all night.

A waitress arrives at our booth with our drinks, her eyes devouring Jose as she places the tray down. He's so oblivious to the female attention he gets.

"If there's anything else I can do for you, let me know" she's directs suggestively at Jose.

"Will do sweet pea, thanks!" He replies.

Mia and I cover our mouths discretely as we try our hardest to contain the laughter from erupting. The poor girls face dropped completely at Jose's higher than most men's voice. She walks away defeated, taking her disappointment with her.

"Should we wait for the others before we start?" Mia asks, I know the polite thing to do would be to wait, but I really want to get buzzing. I ignore the selfish need inside and nod my head.

I see Kate and Elliot reach the top of the stairs and inwardly sigh in relief, that wasn't too long. _Alcoholic._ I stand to greet them and it's only then I notice Christian standing behind Elliot. I try to hide my look of confusion but I guess I didn't try hard enough.

"Mia invited him." Kate whispers in my ear as she hugs me. I nod and smile at Elliot hello. To say I'm shocked to see Christian here would be putting it lightly. Not once, has he ever gone out or had a drink with us. I mean he hardly attends family gatherings as it is. But oh well, the more the merrier I suppose. I look to Christian who I catch staring intently at me. God, he's probably still pissed about the shoes.

"Hey, Christian, it's good to see you again." I smile.

His eyes travel down to my chest for second before meeting my eyes. I notice the working of his jaw as he clenches it. I've heard Mia and Kate say Christians gay or they _think_ he's gay but I never bought it. Not that you have to act a certain way to be gay but from what I know of him since growing up, he's never showed an interest in anyone, male or female. He's always been so... detached.

 _He's probably offended with what you're wearing you skank._ Oh please, offence is taken, not given.

"Yes, you too, Anastasia." He replies nonchalantly.

I offer a tight lipped smile and move back to the booth to grab a shot.

"Shot's, Ana? You know I don't drink the heavy." Kate whines.

I grab the glass of sangria, bottle of water and hand it to her.

"That's why I got you these mama bear." She smiles appreciatively and takes them. Elliot grabs the two beers and hands one to Christian. Jose, Mia and I line up our shots and lime while Kate's already sipping on her sangria.

"To the return of Mia!" Elliot toasts, we all cheer and take our shots, swigs and sips.

"To Jose! Bagging a night club entrepreneur and making this night possible" Mia toasts, we all laugh and take another drink. As I suck on the second lime, I feel eyes burning into my back, I turn and notice Christian has moved away from the booth and is now leaning against the balcony, just watching us. His smouldering grey eyes latch onto my blues, he takes another sip of his beer, and turns toward the balcony to look down at the crowd.

"To Ana! And her next victim!" Kate toasts, I roll my eyes and laugh along with everyone else. I down my third shot like its water and grab Mia and Kate's arm.

"Let's hit the floor." I tell them. Kate gives Elliot whose talking to Jose about something a quick kiss and follows behind Mia and I.

As we step onto the floor, I'm instantly in my own zone. Kate and Mia dance with each other while I, completely content, dance on my own. I close my eyes as the music moves through me, over me, and around me. I raise my arms above my head, letting everything go and move my hips to the beat. A warm body presses against my back and strong hands grip my hips. I lean my body back and turn my head to look up at the guy behind me.

"I couldn't _not_ dance with you after seeing you on the floor looking the way you do."

I smile and sink further back into Ethan's body. Remembering who I came with, I quickly do a scan for Kate and Mia but they've managed to get themselves closer to the front, totally oblivious to everyone around them.

I grab onto Ethan's hands and start grinding into him slowly. His warm breath caresses my neck, his grip tightening on my hips as he pushes his body into me, matching the rhythm and beat. I feel him harden as I continue to dance on him, his hand moves up my body at a torturing pace, he grips the base of my neck and turns my head towards his. We breathe each other in, our lips merely an inch away.

The tempo in the music shifts, the beat fastening, the bass thumping even harder. I smile and pull away from Ethan, my body adjusting to the change of pace. I turn towards him and shrug innocently. He stands there's smirking, shaking his head. I look down at his arousal and quirk a brow.

"You should go take care of that!" I yell to him and turn to make my way back to the VIP section, laughing.

I get up there and notice both Jose and Elliot are gone, probably down there on the floor. I head over to the booth to grab some cash when I'm startled by Christians voice behind me.

"You sure can dance." I spin around and place a hand over my heart.

"Jeez, Christian, you scared me." I lightly laugh it off but Christian doesn't seem at all amused. He eyes the cash in my hand.

"I'm gonna go get some more drinks, do you want anything? Another... Another beer, or something?" I offer. It's only then I actually realize what he just said. Has he been watching me?

"No, I'm fine. Thank you." He replies.

I tilt my head to the side and look up at his too handsome for his own good face.

"You're pretty proper huh?" I ask.

He raises a brow, obviously taken back by my question.

"You know, with the manners and way you present yourself. A part of me actually thinks you might be part robot." I joke. A hint of a smile appears on his face and I nearly gasp. Christian's never smiled at me. It's a good look on him.

"Well, I've been called worse things I suppose." He tells me.

Mia comes barreling towards us and grabs my hand.

"Come on, Ana, lets go to the bar and do more shots!"

I turn to Christian and extend the invitation to which he declines, however he looks torn, between what I don't know but I can tell he's not thrilled about something. I let Mia lead me toward the bar where Ethan's waiting with a line of shots and I shake my head.

"A man after my own heart." I gush, he laughs and places a shot in my hand.

"If that's all it took, you would of been mine 6 years ago."

I smack his shoulder playfully. Mia's hanging off the arm of some guy she obviously just met, completely engrossed in whatever he's saying. I tap Mia on the shoulder and hold a shot to her face. Her eyes light up and we commence with shot taking.

* * *

We're on our fifth shot, that makes eight in total when I start feeling the effects of the alcohol. My body is buzzing, my head is humming, I'm feeling good. Mia went off to the dance floor with her man of the night so it's just Ethan and I at the bar. He orders us another round of shots while I bop my head to the music. I feel someone lean into the side of me, or more like smell someone. I turn and see it's the frat guy from earlier and I'm pretty sure he's a bit too drink as well.

"Hey, baby, you ready to dance?" He ask's as he runs his finger down my arm. I pull away subtly. I don't really feel like dancing with this guy so I smile politely and start to tell him so when Ethan's hand comes around my waist.

"Sorry man, but she's with me." He places a small kiss on the side of my neck and I shrug at the guy in front of me. As I turn my back to him, he grabs my wrist forcefully and yanks me to him.

"Yeah, well the chick promised me a dance so I'm taking what's mine."

Ethan rips his arm off me and pulls me behind him. I rub my wrists and scowl at the fucker.

"I didn't promise you shit, dude. I said _maybe_. And last time I checked, maybe, wasn't a guarantee." I tell him.

Kate and Elliot come to my side and ask if everything's okay. I nod and scoff towards the douche, Kate instantly gets it and rolls her eyes. Elliot clasps a hand on Ethan's shoulder, making it known that if the guy started anything, it wouldn't be just Ethan he'd deal with.

"Everything good?" Elliot asks, eyeing the douche bag, who's not at all affected by Elliot's presence. Damn alcohol, gives people a false sense of bravery.

Ethan clenches his jaw, he's obviously trying to control himself. "Yeah, everything's good. Was just letting this guy here know that Ana was with me, that's all."

Ethan and I have been in this scenario so many times, back in the day. It's kind of nostalgic in a fucked up way. The guy eyes both Ethan and Elliot, probably assessing what his chances would be, but truth be told, he wouldn't have a chance with either of them. He grabs his beer off the counter, mutters a few lovely words and stumbles his way back to the dance floor. I shake my head and grab a shot for Ethan.

"Some things never change huh?" He says.

"It would appear so" I smile and we both take a shot, forgetting about what just happened.

* * *

Okay. I'm drunk. Okay not exactly drunk. But I'm close. Okay very close. I've lost count of how many shots I've taken but fuck, I feel good. Ethan's on the dance floor with the rest of the guys so I decided I needed to use the rest room. On the way I bump into something, I think it's a chair, "shit, sorry." I apologize with a pat on the seat. Yep, a chair.

Where the fuck is this restroom? A group of girls pass me, giggling. I giggle along like I'm apart of their conversation and earn a few glares. People need to lighten up. I run my hands along the wall and push through a door. A woman bypasses me and I know I've successfully found the bathroom. I head into one of the stalls and get to peeing.

Mid pee I hear someone walk through the bathroom door. As I pull my panties up someone starts banging on my stall door. I frown and yell out "I'll be out in a sec!"

I flush the toilet and smooth down my dress when they start banging again. I unlock the stall door and push it open aggressively,

"I said I'd be out in a fucking-"

The frat guy from earlier aggressively pushes me back into the stall, I fall back and land on the toilet seat, I feel pain radiate through my arm and something wet trickle down it. My vision goes a bit hazy from the sudden rush of movement and I shake my head.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" I yell.

I go to stand up, only to grabbed and pushed against the wall, the stall is small so my struggling doesn't do anything. I feel a hand roughly grab my thigh.

"Fucking, bitch... Walking around like some cock tease" he slurs the words in the crook of my neck and I cringe, still trying to get myself out of his grip.

As he goes to lock the stall door, it's swings back open with so much force I'm surprised it wasn't pulled off its hinges. His weight has been lifted off mine and my body sinks to the floor. My eyes start to blur as my body takes on the full effect of tonight's alcohol consumption. I hear a few screams coming in and out of the bathroom and that's when I notice someone beating the living shit out of frat guy. Fists, just pounding into his face. The screams sound more distant now. I try to get up only to fall back onto my knees.

"Fuck.." I slur.

The blurry outline of a figure comes toward me and lifts me up. My eyes clear enough to see Christian holding me upright. _Christian?_ What's he doing in the ladies bathroom? I see Christians lips moving but I can't hear anything. I nod anyway and just go along. I should probably go find Kate. Christian holds my face in his hands, hands that are covered in something. More people come in and drag frat guy out. I think someone starts yelling... Is it Christian?

I wrap my arms around myself and something wet coats my fingers, I look at my them and frown

"Is that blood?" I say aloud, when the realization hits, my knees become weak and everything turns black.

* * *

 **Please let me know what you guys think!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer, Story and original characters are owned by E.L. James - This story and any new characters are mine.**

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

The throbbing inside my cranium rudely wakes me from my slumber. I groan and roll from my back, onto my stomach. I'm going to sleep all day. Yep, that's the plan. Just sleep. All day. As I snuggle deeper into my bed I can't help but notice my sheets feel softer than usual. I reach out and grab a pillow. Clutching it to my side I catch the most delectable scent of spice, musk and something else I can't quite make out. I bring the pillow to my nose and inhale.

"Mmmmm my pillow smells better than usual too." I murmur incoherently as I spoon it.

I try for a good five minutes to fall back asleep but the pounding in my head starts to intensify. I'm going to have to get something for it if I want to get back to sleep. Maybe I have something stronger than Advil in the cabinet, I just want to be out all day.

I slowly open my eyes. My vision is blurry from sleep so It takes a moment for my brain to catch up and register what my eyes are finally seeing.

Well, fuck.

"Not again.." I groan as I smother myself with the pillow. The smothering soon becomes nuzzling and I let out a little moan, it smells so good.

 _Okay, put the pillow down, get your shit, and hit the road. You know the drill._

I huff. Knowing I have to hightail it, I move the pillow away. I'm having a serious case of Déjà vu right now. Why, it's seems just yesterday I was in a situation quite like this.

I look to the side of me and cringe. The bed is empty. That means whatever John I got with last night is most likely up and about. Fuck. I eye the drawn floor to ceiling curtains and hope flutters through my chest. Maybe I can get out through there, it wouldn't be the first time I've had to improvise in a situation like this.

"You have to stop this, Ana." I tell myself sternly as I sit up and throw my legs over the side of the bed. "You can't keep waking up in strange people's beds every morning. You're gonna have to try cutting back a bit here."

I sit idle for a second, to calm the dizziness I'm experiencing. As my feet hit the floor, my eyes actually roll to the back of my head. This carpet is softer than my own bed!

 _Stop getting distracted!_

I stand up to check out the window but stop in my tracks as I look down my body; I frown at the white men's tee I'm wearing. Why am I wearing this? I always wake up naked or at the most with my bra still on. Okay not the time to ponder.

I draw open the curtains, the gloomy sky of Seattle is still bright enough to irritate my eyes. Hm. Well. Okay. Unless I woke up with the ability to shoot web out of my wrists, there's no way I'm making it out this window alive. I look down at the streets below, I've gotta be at least 30 stories up.

Well there goes that 'scape route. I sigh in defeat and turn. I take in the room around me and have to admit, even though I despise sticking around and always try my hardest to avoid actually acknowledging the person I slept with the night before, there's a bit of curiosity as to whom this room actually belongs to.

The walls are deep grey and bare. No art hung up, no personal items or knick knacks about for me to see. There's a walk in closest which is probably the size of a store and a door next to it which is probably an en-suite. I open the door and turn out to be right. The sensor lights come on and I squint from the harshness of it.

I notice a massive shower and bathtub but don't dwell on it too long, I just wanna get out of here. I walk over to the mirror to assess the damage.

Okay, hair a mess? _Check_.

Makeup all smudged? _Check_.

Blood shot eyes? Actually, not bad this morning.

I grab a face towel and wet it, getting to work on cleaning my face. I hope he doesn't mind.

When I finish washing my face, I throw the towel in a hamper and grab some toothpaste to squirt on my finger and clean my mouth. If there's a chance I'm going to bump into this guy, I don't want post drunk breath. There's not much I can do about the nest on my head without a hair tie, so I finger comb to the best of my abilities.

Back in the room, I start looking around for my clothes and purse. I curse when they're nowhere to be found. Great, they're probably out there somewhere. As I glance around the room again and walk over to the bedside table, I notice there's some Advil and a glass of water. Was that there before? And is it for me? _Do you see anyone else in here who might be in need of them?_ I take the Advil and eagerly chug down the water, desperate for any kind of relief.

I'm wearing the guys t shirt, there was Advil and water waiting for me on the bedside table; this isn't good.

I quietly open the bedroom door and peak my head out. My eyes widen, holy shit. This place is nice. Actually, nice doesn't even begin to describe the look of this place. Seriously, who the fuck lives here?

 _Focus, Ana!_

I look and listen out for anyone who might be near. The place is quiet... really quiet. When I'm satisfied there's no one around I slowly creep out; making sure a second time there's no one around.

I hastily look around the area for my things, Nothing in the living area so I quickly tip toe over to the breakfast bar to check but nothing there either. Where the hell is my shit?

"Fuck" I mutter under my breath. I look down at my body; the tee hits about mid thigh but I can't exactly walk around Seattle in it. Plus I have no shoes, or phone, or keys, and I don't even know where I am.

"You're awake."'

I yelp and practically jump out of my skin. Turning around with a hand on my chest, my eyes widen in shock. Oh no. no...

"Christian?!" I hope I'm not seeing what I'm seeing; I hope all the alcohol and drugs I've consumed over the years has finally fried my brain and turned it into a fruit loop.

I went home with Christian last night?!

He stands there, face completely impassive, hands in his pockets. His eyes travel downward and linger on my bare legs before meeting my eyes.

"How are you feeling?" He asks.

Like a fucking idiot, I think to myself; A fucking idiot who needs to start setting some rules for her vagina.

Rule number one: Must not welcome in every Tom, DICK and Harry that shows up at the gate.

"Yeah, I feel okay... Advil helped. So...Thanks for that.." I reply, nodding my head awkwardly.

I can't believe I slept with Christian. I can't believe I slept with Christian and have no recollection of it. I can't believe I slept with Christian, have no recollection of it and am standing before him with nothing but his t-shirt on. Great. I've also now successfully banged both of my best friends brothers.

"And your arm?" I frown at his question. My arm? I pull the sleeves up and notice my left arm is bandaged.

"Huh. I didn't even notice that." I say to myself.

Christian's brow furrows and he stands up taller. "You do remember what happened to your arm, don't you?" He asks sternly.

I roll the sleeve back down and shrug.

"I'm going to be completely honest with you, Christian; the last thing I remember was downing shots with Ethan and Mia at the bar."

His face hardens and wow, if looks could kill? I'd be six feet under... Actually, make that ten, six doesn't feel deep enough. I make a mental note to slap myself when I get home but as for right now, time to do some damage control.

"I guess I just had one too many last night. But look, whatever we did last night-" Christian cuts me off.

"We didn't do anything, Anastasia. You passed out and I brought you back here to rest."

What? We didn't do anything? I look down at my body. "But then... Where are my clothes?"

"Your dress was damaged so I had my housekeeper, Gail, undress you and place you in one of my T-shirts."

My body sags with relief and I can't help but laugh. "Oh, Thank God!" I look to Christian who doesn't seem the bit amused.

"Not that sleeping with you would be terrible! I'm sure it'd be- It's just- well you know- you're...you. Not that- fuck, this isn't coming out right, can someone just gag me, please."

I swallow nervously, my throat drying up more and more with every stupid thing that comes out of it.

A look flashes across Christian's face, I can only imagine what he thinks of me. Probably asking himself why he thought bringing this crazy bitch back to his place was a good idea.

He should've just left me where I passed out, that way I could've avoided this awkwardness.

Realization hits. "Christian, why did you bring me back here? Not that I'm not grateful but-"

Before I can finish my sentence, I hear my name being yelled out. I turn to see Kate and Mia running towards me, they both grab and embrace me and start talking all at once.

"Oh my God, Ana, are you okay?!"

"Show me your arm, what did that prick do to you?!"

"I can't believe what could've happened!"

"Don't ever fucking go to the bathroom by yourself again!"

The shrill of their voices combined pierces my eardrums and I have trouble staying upright. I look over to see Christian walking away from us. Lucky bastard.

Kate grabs my face and forces it to hers. Worry and anger etches her beautiful face while Mia looks like she's about to cry.

I pull out of Kate's hold and walk over to the breakfast bar to take a seat. They're hot on my tail, Mia taking a seat next to me and Kate on the other side of the bar, leaning on the counter.

"Seriously, Ana. Are you okay? We've been worried sick." Kate asks me.

I shrug, "I'm okay I guess, it's not the worst hangover I've had so-"

Kate stands up straight, confusion then anger flickers across her face, I notice Mia shift uncomfortably on the stool.

"Kate-" Mia starts. I frown in confusion at my two best friends. Okay?

"No, Mia." Kate interrupts. She shakes her head and let's out a bitter laugh.

"You don't remember last night, do you?" Kate asks. I'm getting pretty tired of people asking me that. Before I can reply Kate continues.

"Let me enlighten you, Ana. You were attacked and almost raped when you went to the bathroom."

I recoil in disbelief, what? No I wasn't. Was I? I mean, I'm pretty sure I'd remember something like that. Right?

"Unbelievable." Kate mutters, turning her back to me. Mia grabs my hand and gives it a little squeeze.

"It's true sweetie." She tells me. "You really don't remember any of it?"

I shake my head, "No, I don't... I had a bit to drink but-"

"A bit?" Kate intercepts. "You had more than just a bit, Ana. You were stumbling all over the fucking place. Ethan came to tell us he was taking you home and then the next minute, you were gone." I try to rack my brain for any recollection of last nights event but come up empty handed.

"Sorry guys, but I really can't remember but I'm fine so-" Kate interrupts me.

"Do you realize the severity of the situation, Ana? You were almost raped! How many times have you woken up God knows where and not remember anything from the night before? Jesus, how do you know you haven't been raped before because you were too shit faced to remember?"

I roll my eyes and cross my arms, "Kate, you're being a bit dramatic here." I tell her. She stares at me, like I've grown three heads and slowly shakes hers.

"I mean, you said it yourself. I was 'almost' raped. You're acting like I was. You need to chill-"

"I can't do this." She tells me, walking away from me. I frown and follow her. "Kate, all I'm saying is that you're overreacting here. I'm, fine, everything's fine." She turns abruptly and faces me.

"What if it were Ava, Ana? What if she 'almost' got raped, but was too drunk to remember and then just shrugged it off like it was nothing?"

My stomach drops at the thought of it and anger fizzles in my chest. I'd put some sense in the girl. But, God help any fucker who would dare put a hand on Ava. Kate sees my reaction and grabs my hand.

"See? You might not think its a serious matter but it is, Ana."

Mia comes around and rubs my back. She's been quiet for the most part, letting Kate take the stage for this. Mia never takes anything seriously so for it to have this effect on her, it must've really scared her. She won't chastise me on it though because deep down I know she'll realize she's being hypocritical. She doesn't sleep around or drink as frequently as I do but she's not innocent of it either.

I've never been raped, but I do know the severity of it and it's one of the worst things that can happen to a woman, as well as a man but what Kate will never understand, what everyone in my life will never understand, is that I just can't bring myself to care if anything like that ever happened to me.

Maybe it'd be different if it did actually happen; who knows? But knowing that I was close to becoming a victim of it last night doesn't change anything for me. I can't help but just mentally shrug it off.

Kate sighs, "We brought you some spare clothes. Why don't you get changed and we'll take you home?"

Eager to put this conversation to rest, I take the clothes from Mia and head back into the bedroom to get changed. I just want to go home. I still plan on sleeping the day away, if I'm lucky the night as well.

* * *

When I walk out of the bedroom door all dressed, I freeze, hearing Kate and Mia's voices coming from the living area.

"She's not well, Mia. She has a serious problem and we need to help her."

Mia sighs, "Kate, she just likes to have a bit of fun, I mean we all do."

"There's a difference between having a bit of fun and putting yourself into danger. Who knows what could've happened to her if Christian hadn't seen that guy go into the ladies restroom."

Wait, Christian saw the guy come into the bathroom?

"Don't deny it, Mia. She didn't even ask any questions about last night! What does that tell you? She just shrugged it off like she does with everything serious in her life. She doesn't give a shit."

"So, what? We have a fucking intervention? That'd go real well, I can see it now. She'll probably just flip us off and leave."

"See!" Kate exclaims in a hush manner. "You just said it, she wouldn't even care!"

"Kate, this is Ana we're talking about. She's our sister-"

"Exactly, Mia; more the reason why we need to help her."

I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. They just care about you, they just care about you. I repeat the mantra in my head until I feel ready to face them. Kate sees me and gives me a warm smile, like she wasn't just saying what a mess I was a second ago. I notice my purse in Mia's hand.

"Ready to go?"'Kate asks.

"Actually, I just want to say thanks to Christian real quick, I won't be too long." Kate and Mia nod.

"He's in his study, it's just around the corner, first door on the left." Mia tells me.

When I get to the door I give it a few knocks. Ouch. That's some hard wood. I'm rubbing my fist when Christian voices "come in". I close the door behind me; He's sitting behind his large desk, looking at his laptop. He looks up, sees me and looks down at my hand.

I stop rubbing it, "That's some hard wood you have there."

He raises a brow and I quickly turn and point to his door. "I mean the door.. It's... It's hard. Hard wood." I clear my throat, why do I always turn into the ass of a baboon around this guy. I walk over to his desk and take a seat, he subtly shifts in his, looking a tad uncomfortable or annoyed? I can't tell.

"I just wanted to say thank you." I start. "For letting me crash here." I'm greeted with Christian's silence and continue.

"Kate told me about last night and how you saw the guy head into the bathroom." Christian sits back in his seat, his arms folded across his chest. I notice his right hand is wrapped in a bandage but I don't dwell on it.

"I don't exactly know what happened but-"

"No, you don't." Christian interrupts. "You don't because you allowed yourself get too intoxicated to remember."

I sit there, stunned into silence. It's one thing to cop a scolding from Kate, but from Christian? I can count on both hands the amount of times I've spoken to him since growing up. He doesn't know me well enough to pass judgement and he certainly doesn't having any footing in the lecturing department either.

 _Well, he's not wrong you know. You did let yourself get too intoxicated to remember._ Not the point.

"You were reckless, Anastasia." I notice the hardness in his eyes and stiffness in his shoulders. Why the fuck does he care, I want to ask but refrain because If I do, then I care. I care about what happened last night, and I care about what people have to say about it. I'm grateful for him letting me crash here, he really didn't have to do that; and for stopping whatever happened last night but at the same time that doesn't give him the right to lecture me. I didn't do anything wrong.

I stand up from my seat, "Okay, well I'm too hungover to get into this so..."

"What a surprise. You know, I can't help but think this is somewhat routine for you."

I raise a brow and chuckle, "What? Getting drunk and waking up hungover in the bed of men whose names I can't remember? It's not a routine." I walk towards the door and open it, before leaving I hold my chin up high, "It's a _lifestyle_." I say and slam the door behind me; and one I don't intend on giving up anytime soon. No matter what anyone has to say about it. There's nothing fucking wrong with me.

* * *

I'm silent on the car ride back to my place. Kate and Mia haven't tried to spark any type of conversation with me and for that I'm grateful. I lean my head back on the head rest and close my eyes. The blissful silence doesn't last long though.

"So, Ana, we were thinking of maybe having dinner at our place, Wednesday night." Kate says.

 _Intervention, intervention, intervention, intervention._

"That's great." I mumble, my eyes still closed.

"You in?" She asks.

"Don't know. I'll have to get back to you."

Kate breaks a bit too hard at a stoplight and my head falls forward. I glare at her through the rear view mirror. Knowing she did it on purpose.

"What could you possibly be doing that you can't come?" She asks all too innocently.

I shrug and look out the window. "They have $3 beers Wednesday nights at Lexes."

Mia turns in her seat to look at me wide eyed, "They do?" She ask's incredulously.

I see Kate's face redden and I can't help but chuckle.

"Mia!" Kate scolds. I roll my eyes and Mia turns back to her seat mumbling "Oh right, right..."

"I'm messing with you, Kate. But I might be helping Jose with a shoot he has." A total lie.

"So I'll have to get back to you." Another lie.

"Okay, well just let me know. We can always reschedule anyway. I'd love to have us all together."

 _Intervention, intervention, intervention, INTERVENTION._

I shake the thought out of my head before it makes me hurl all over all myself and sit there thinking about Christian and what he said to me before I left. "So how come I ended up at Christians place and not mine or yours?" I ask them both.

They look at each other briefly and Mia speaks up first. "We were kind of wondering the same thing."

I look at her and frown, "What do you mean?" I ask.

"Christian was the one who found you in the bathroom. Jose told us when Alex heard of a commotion in the ladies restroom, and went to check it out, he found you on the floor with your dress ripped and Christian beating the shit out of the guy who tried to hurt you."

My eyes widen in shock and I sit at full attention. Christian beat up the guy who tried to hurt me? I remember seeing his hand wrapped up in a bandage, was that from last night? Fuck. But that still doesn't explain why I ended up at his place though.

Kate continues, "He came out with you in his arms, and his hands covered in blood. We didn't know any of this until Jose grabbed us off the dance floor and told us last night; And when Mia called Christian and insisted on him taking you to your place or ours, he flat out refused. He wouldn't even allow us to come by until you woke. We decided to come by anyway because we needed to know how you were. Christian filled Mia in last night, on what happened in the bathroom. "

"I could actually feel his anger through the phone, Ana. He was going off. I don't remember him ever being so out of control."

I sit there in complete astonishment and a memory suddenly plays out in my head. I remember Christian holding my face in his hands. I remember seeing someone pounding their fists into a guy. Oh, God... Christian really did save me last night. He did more than just save me. Why would he hurt that guy to such an extent?

I don't notice Kate driving into the underground car park of my building until Mia brings me out of my revere.

"You okay there, Ana?" I shake my head and mumble a yes and unbuckle my seat belt.

"I think I'm just gonna head up and lay down you guys, thanks for the ride. I really appreciate it." I tell them, not wanting any company. I need to digest all this new information I'm still reeling from.

* * *

I throw my purse on the table, thankful to finally be in the space of my own home. I walk over to the couch and just fall into it. I close my Eyes. Sleep, please take me. Take me and keep me for however long you want.

I feel myself hanging on the brink of sleep when my phones starts ringing. I groan and hit a cushion in frustration. I get up, grab the phone out of my purse, silence it and throw it on the table. I think it slid off and fell on the floor but at this point, I just don't give a shit. I walk to my bedroom in a huff and collapse in bed. Sleep finally shows up at my door and I welcome it.

* * *

Something disrupts my slumber. I can sense a shift in my space but I don't know what it is. My eyes flutter open, everything is still in a haze from sleep so I blink a few more times before my vision clears.

"Morning sleepy head, or should I say evening."

I Yelp in shock and nearly fall out of my damn bed. Jose's there laying next to me, hand propping his head up. His hair wrapped in one of my bath towels.

"Jesus, Ana, way to make a girl feel beautiful." He sits up and rearranges the towel around his head. I notice he's also in of the bathrobes he left here for himself out of convenience.

"I should really consider confiscating your key." I mumble, sitting up and rubbing my eyes.

"Now now, no need for that kind of talk." Jose replies. I look over to the bedside table,7:43PM.

"Ugh, Jose, it's still early, why did you wake me?!" I groan and pull the covers over my head. I feel the bed shift, a moment later Jose rips the blanket off of me. He's standing at the end of my bed, arms crossed over his broad chest, his eyes shooting daggers at my head.

I huff and sit up, mimicking him, I cross my arms and glare back. "Oh no, missy, don't even think about it. You are in no position to get all _mala actitud_ on me."

I roll my eyes and hop out of bed. Walking pass Jose, I head into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. If I'm going to get through the night, I'm going to need a heavy dose of caffeine. Jose follows me, his expression not wavering.

"You want a coffee?" I ask.

"Of course I want a coffee, when do I not want a coffee?"

I shake my head and he joins me at the breakfast table. "Oh _chica_ , I was so worried about you, we all were! I didn't know what the hell was happening until Alex told me. _Dios mío_ , that _Pendejo_ is lucky it wasn't me who caught him, the _Hijo de puta_ is lucky he gets to see another day."

Jose's native tongue always comes out subconsciously when he gets heated up, I have no idea what he says most of the time but I know it's nothing sweet.

"I'm fine, Jose. I kinda already had this talk with Kate though so if you don't mind, I'd just like to put it all behind me." I place his mug in front of him as a peace offering of some sort. He squints his eyes but relents and this conversation is over. I sigh in relief and and take a sip of my coffee.

"Oh yes. Better than men, sex and alcohol." I moan aloud.

"Oh honey, you say that now." Jose quirks a brow and I can't help but laugh. He's not lying.

* * *

Jose and I continue to talk, mainly about him and Alex. I'm glad things are going well for them, it's way to soon to label anything but I'm just happy Jose's happy and Alex seems like an alright guy from what I saw last night. Jose mentions Christian being the hero and how the least I could've done was offer a complimentary hand job. I chocked on my coffee and flipped him off as he walked to the bedroom to get changed. But Jose is right. Not about the hand job. But I should thank him for what Christian did.

Jose walks back out, "Okay, sweetie, now that I know you're safe and I've used your tub to successfully rid the stress you've put me through, I should head off." I walk him over to the door. "Thanks for checking up on me, Jose, even though you didn't need to."

He gives me a big hug and lightly sways me side to side. "Oh shush. I can't have anything happening to my girl and you can't leave me with Kate and Mia. Seriously. You can't. Ever."

I laugh out loud, "I'd never do that to you, well, intentionally anyway." He gives me a kiss on the cheek and leaves.

I shut the door and lean on it for a second. Just to collect my bearings. This day has been too much. Sometimes I wonder if having no friends at all would be ideal for someone like me and you know what? Today proved that it very well might be. _They're looking out for you._ _Someone needs too._ The only person who needs to look out for me, is me. I got this. Have for years. _Keep telling yourself that._

I push myself off the door and head back over to my bedroom, deciding to drop dead for the rest of the night. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow, maybe I won't. I'll see. I'm just about to enter my room when there's a loud urgent knock on the door.

I groan aloud. I can't get a moment of peace can I? The knocking becomes more urgent and I frown, " I hear ya, Jose, calm the hell down."

Shaking my head I open the door and step aside for Jose, only it wasn't Jose.

"Ethan?" The surprise in my tone doesn't go unnoticed. But what's he doing here? Eagerly, he looks over me twice, from head to toe. He steps inside, never taking his eyes off of me and shuts the door behind him. I sag against the wall and tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"What are you doing he-" I'm caught off guard when he wraps his strong arms around me, practically moulding himself to me.

I close my eyes and revel in the warmth emitting off of his body. I push myself further into him and just stay there, in a content little cocoon. We stand there holding for each other for what feels like minutes. Ethan releases me but holds me at arms length, again running his eyes over every inch of my body. I fight the urge to roll my eyes because this isn't Kate, Mia or Jose. This is Ethan. He knows me. Every bit of me.

I smirk and raise a brow. "Not you too huh?" He doesn't return my smirk, there's not a trace of humour to be seen. I sigh and gently release myself from his holding.

"I'm fin-"

"Don't." He cuts me off. I pinch the bridge of my nose and walk over to the couch, Ethan following behind me.

"But I am. I'm fine. Why is so hard for people to understand that? The more you guys go on about it, the more me being fine is not going to change."

Ethan sits next to me in silence, the stress on his beautiful face so evident, all I want to do Is erase it. I bite my lip my subconsciously and grab one of his hands. I run my finger along the raised skin on his knuckles, each scar representing their own story and struggle.

"I should've been there."

I stop what I'm doing and bring my eyes back up to Ethan. He's still looking ahead, his face now contorted with anger and disgust. Ethan's always been protective of me, some things just never change. But still, seeing him like this? I hate it.

"There's no point in thinking that. What's done is done. You didn't know, _nothing_ is on you. But like I said, nothing happened and I'm fine."

"Yeah and why's that, Ana? Why did nothing happen?" He ask's, his jaw tensing so hard I'm worried it'd bloody break. I sit there confused for a moment, not really getting what Ethan's saying when it finally clicks. I let out a humourless laugh.

"Are you serious, E? You're pissed because, Christian was the one who got the guy?"

He stands abruptly and begins pacing the floor.

"I'm pissed _I_ didn't get a chance to give it to that fucker, I'm pissed _I_ didn't get to break his fucking jaw. But you know what I'm most pissed about, Ana? I'm pissed that I didn't fucking see it coming. I saw the way the fucker looked at you, the way he grabbed you, I should've put him down straight away. Am I pissed Christian was the one to get to you before me? Yeah, okay sure, but I'm still glad he did because if he didn't then who knows what that fucking-"

He stops pacing and closes his eyes, his hands laced together behind his head. His breathing has become laboured and his body has tensed all over. I quietly get up off the couch and walk over to him. I offer the only comfort I know.

I reach up on my tip toes and place a soft kiss on the side of his mouth. His body relaxes and he opens his eyes. I don't see the hard anguish that was lurking there before, I see the heat and lust that I know too well. I see the want and need.

"There he is" I smirk.

Ethan grabs me roughly and smashes his mouth to mine. I let out a moan and he takes that moment to slip his tongue into my mouth, we continue kissing, both eager and seeking whatever control we can get from each other. I bite his bottom lip and he grunts. I can't help but laugh at his animalistic sounds.

"You think that's funny?" He warns me gruffly. He grabs my ass roughly, and lifts me up, my legs straddling him as he walks us over to my bedroom. I feel the hardness between his legs and the wetness between mine begins to pool. I feel like an addict who's been itching for days, weeks even.

This is what I can offer him. This is what we can offer each other. This is comfort. This is the only life I know how to live.

* * *

Let me know what you think! x


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer, Story and original characters are owned by E.L. James - This story and any new characters are mine.**

* * *

 **Chapter Five**

I take a bite of my burger as Mia eats a forkful of her seafood salad. She picks at my fries and I take a piece of her crab meat. I wipe my mouth with the napkin and take a sip of my water.

"So, then he says, _until you find a job, I'm taking away your Amex._ Can you believe this shit?"

I shrug and pick up a fry, "Actually, I can, Mia. Your way of living could drain the wealth of an Arabian prince." I throw my fry at her and laugh. She rolls her eyes and stares down at her salad.

"I don't know the first thing about working, Ana. I haven't worked a day in my life, how the hell am I supposed to find a job?"

"Mia, you studied cooking in _Paris_. You've accomplished a lot more than you think."

Mia winces at my words and looks down at her lap. "Yeah... About that..."

Oh no. Hell no. Is she kidding me right now? She is not about to say what I think she's about to say. I close my eyes, take a deep breathe and exhale in an attempt to calm myself. I open my eyes and look over at the girl sitting across from me. She takes a nervous sip of her water.

"Throat... Is pretty dry." She clears her throat and starts picking at the table cloth.

"You didn't study in Paris, did you?" I ask her.

Her body sags, she throws her head back and groans.

"I tried! Ana, cooking is so boring. I just couldn't do it. And it's messy! Do you know we had to wash our own dishes after preparing the meals? The amount of money Christian paid, I shouldn't be washing dishes!"

I shake my head in disbelief. "I am not hearing this. Nope, I'm not. What you just told me? I didn't hear it."

Mia grabs my hand and gives it a desperate squeeze. "I had to tell someone, Ana. It's been driving me crazy."

"Well here's an idea, tell your parents! Or your brothers? How the hell did you get them to believe you actually completed the study anyway?"

"You'd be surprised how easy it is to get fake certification online..." She chuckles nervously.

I pinch the bridge of my nose and sink further into my seat.

"It's not a big deal, Ana. I'll figure this out, don't worry."

"Yeah, you _will_ figure this out, Mia. I'll help how I can but you need to sort this out ASAP."

She nods her head in defeat and plays with the rest of her salad in silence. It's a rare sighting, seeing Mia so defeated and anxious. It always plays at my heartstrings so I decide to throw her a bone.

"I mean, It's not like I can talk anyway... I'm jobless and have nothing under my belt as well. Hello pot calling the kettle black."

Mia laughs out loud, the color returning to her beautiful face. I offer a reassuring smile and we continue finishing off the rest of our meal.

I didn't want to come out today, but Mia was in desperate need of some retail therapy. She's taking advantage of her credit card before Christian finally pulls the plug on it. I can't blame the girl, this is all she knows. She doesn't know hard work or what it's like to have no money. Then again, neither do I.

"You know, your dad said he'll ask around for me in the job department. Why don't you get him to help?" I tell her.

"No way. I want a job I'll actually enjoy."

I let out a laugh and finish off my water.

"Speaking of things enjoyable..." Mia starts suspiciously. I squint my eyes in caution to what she's about to say.

"You coming this Wednesday? For dinner at Elliot and Kate's?"

I groan so loud I catch the attention of a few other diners in the restaurant. Here I thought Mia wouldn't bring this up, and I know she wouldn't have so someone obviously got in her ear.

"I really would _not_ like to go."

"Oh come on, Ana. All of us just chilling, having dinner, maybe a few drinks- uh non alcoholic drinks that is..., some laughs." Mia rambles on.

I sit up straight and look Mia straight in the eye. Her eyes widen and she looks around hastily.

"Okay fine you forced it out of me! Kate thinks you need help, you know just with the whole... Drinking and... Partying and... Other stuff you do in your life... That's all... This is all her!"

"Okay one, you're a terrible spy." I tell her as she nods her head feverishly.

"And two, I already knew what this Wednesday was about. I overheard you bitches talking about it at Christians."

"Oh. Oh, well then great, I'll let Kate know you're coming!"

I grab Mia's phone from her hand before she can text Kate.

"You won't tell Kate anything, Mia."

"But, Ana, Kate won't relent, you know that. It's _Kate_."

I know it's Kate, she's pushy, naggy and always gets her way, which is what makes her a good mother. But I'm not her child. No one is accountable for me, I'm no ones responsibility. My life is my own to live and I won't be _forced_ into this intervention. So...

"I'll text Kate to let her know I'll be there, don't worry." I smile at Mia and plop a fry into my mouth. She sits there, looking shocked and wary.

"So... You're coming then?" She asks. I nod my head and continue eating.

"Even though you know it's all just a front for an intervention?"

I fucking hate that word but I continue to nod. Mia crosses her arms over her chest.

"Hm. Okay then. Should be... good."

I look to her and smile. "Yeah. Should be."

* * *

"A fucking intervention, can you believe this bullshit, E?" The words come out in a huff as I push myself harder on the treadmill.

Ethan's voice comes out of the speaker, _"Just don't go, Ana. It's as simple as that."_

I let out a laugh, "Oh yeah, _so_ simple. It's Kate we're talking about. You're related to the girl you should know it's not going to be simple."

Ethan sighs in defeat. _"Yeah, I know. If it helps, I can be there, for support?"_

My mind immediately goes to last nights events and I can't help but smirk.

"We talking cock support or?"

Ethan's laughter rings through the air. _"Damn, maybe you do need an intervention."_

"Ha Ha."'

 _"I'll offer any support I can, Ana."_ The seriousness in his voice reminds me that this man was there for me even as a boy.

"Thanks, Ethan. It'd be great if you'd be there."

 _"Good, because Kate already invited me."_

My eyes bug out of their sockets in anger and I slam the stop button on my treadmill.

 _"Hey, before you get all pissy on me, I was always going be there for you. I'd never bombard you, Ana."_

I place my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. It takes me a moment before I recover somewhat.

"Oh, I'm not pissy at you. I'm pissy at, Kate. She's trying to use you to get to me."

Ethan's silent for a moment, it does nothing to calm the fire that's burning inside of my chest, from the anger and the workout I just did.

 _"I think she just wants to help you, Ana."_

I stand up straight and stare at the phone as if it's actually Ethan.

"And what do you think, Ethan? Do you think I need help?" The silence I'm hit with, hits me like a ton of bricks and I can't help but feel...betrayed. Sometimes, silence speaks louder than words and In this case, it's deafening.

"I gotta go." I simply state.

 _"Ana, come on, I-"_

I end the call and head over to my bar. Still trying to catch my breath I grab a full bottle of vodka and a glass. I never expected in a million years that Ethan would agree with Kate. He taught me all I know for fucks sake. _He's grown out of those ways. Well most of them_ _anyway_. Regardless, I thought he got me. Sure I don't have the same values as others but how exactly does that effect anyone else but myself?

My grip tightens on the bottle in anger and I stop to look down at the items in my hands. What am I thinking? I don't need the glass.

* * *

It's 9:30PM, my music is blaring, I'm past the half way mark with the bottle of vodka and the box of pizza I had delivered has 3 slices left. So why don't I feel any better? I look at the bottle of V in one hand and the slice of pizza in the other and roll my eyes. I throw the bottle on the couch and shove the rest of the pizza in my mouth.

I grab my MacBook off of the coffee table and start it up. I have 22 emails, majority of them are spam so I get to deleting. I notice an email from Carrick that was sent today.

 **From: Carrick Grey**

 **Subject: Work**

 **Date: June 29, 2016 2:46 PM**

 **To: Anastasia Steele**

* * *

 **Ana, I may have found possible employment for you. Grace is dying to see you again so how does dinner tomorrow night sound? Let me know, sweetheart.**

 **Regards,**

 **Carrick Grey.**

* * *

"Uggghhhhhhhh" I throw my head back on the couch. Why? Why did I check my emails? _Again, people helping you out here._ I didn't ask for any help though and now, now I'm obligated to see this through because people want me to live a certain way.

"What's wrong with my way?" I mutter to myself; Looking around at the mess of my apartment. Clothes thrown about, bottle of V on the couch, empty boxes of pizza spread out sporadically.

I huff in defeat and email Carrick, telling him I'll be there. He emails me back minutes later with a time and it's set. Great, dinner with the Grey's tomorrow and then 'Dinner' at Kate's on Wednesday. I got this. Besides, free food right?

* * *

I didn't sleep well last night. I was restless, frustrated and, ok, a little drunk. But on top of that, the water in my apartment complex isn't fucking working and I need to wash my hair. I _need_ to.

"Ok, can you at least tell me when you _think_ the water might be on?" I ask the rude, good for nothing, general maintenance manager over the phone.

 _"Maybe in about 4 hours."_

What?!

"4 hours?! I can't wait 4 hours! I need to be-"

 _"4 hours."_ He states again and hangs up on me.

"Fucking asshole!" I yell out loud in frustration. Great, just great. The amount of money I paid for this place, you'd think they'd hire someone who's at least respectable.

I look at the time on my phone and bite my lip in concentration. Okay so it's 4PM. Dinner isn't until 7. I weight my options, not gonna ask Kate, Mia won't be home until dinner... Jose it is.

I try calling Jose twice and it goes straight to voicemail. Damn. My home phone starts ringing just as I'm about to give Jose another try.

"Hello?"

 _"Waters working."_

I sag in relief and smile through the phone at the maintenance manager. I knew 4 hours was ridiculous.

"Oh thank GOD. I thought I was- hello?"

The prick hung up on me, again. I head over to my bathroom and strip out of my clothes. I pause in front of the mirror as my reflection catches my attention. I unwrap the the bandage on my arm and wince a little at the pain. It's deep, but wasn't deep enough for stitches. Still, it's a pretty nasty wound. My eyes linger on it for more than they should.

I run my finger along the damaged skin. _Could've been a lot worse._

"Whatever." I mutter aloud. I hop into the shower and turn on the faucet.

"What the fuck?!" I yell in shock AND disgust as brown water, brown muddy looking water spurts out of the shower head and down my body. I grab a towel and wrap myself all while muttering curses under my breath.

Not caring about the decency of my appearance, I storm out of my apartment and head downstairs. As I exit the elevator, I notice a lot of the tenants are surrounding the front desk, probably here for the same reason I am.

One by one, like the domino effect, people start to turn and look at me. Some are shocked, some are offended and some just look longer than necessary.

I storm past everyone in my towel and stop in front of the young women at the desk. She covers her mouth in shock as she takes me in.

"I demand to see the maintenance manager. Now."

She clears her throat and shifts in her seat. "Ma'am, I'm sorry but he's - he's not available right now... I can leave a uh a message-"

"I don't want to leave a message. I want to demand why he one minute he tells me the water is working and then the next I'm covered in this brown shit."

"I uh, I can only-"

I put my hand up, silencing the poor girl.

"Look. Clearly, I need a shower. Is there _anything_ you suggest I do here because this..."

I gesture at my body "is ridiculous."

She looks around me hastily, everyone around us is engrossed in their own conversations.

The girl at the desk grabs something from her purse and puts it in my hand. I look down and frown at the little swipe card in confusion.

"It's a swipe to my gym across the road. The water there is working and they have showers." She quietly mentions.

I look back at her and smile in appreciation. I could seriously kiss this girl.

"Thank you so much. I'll return it as soon as I get back." I tell her.

She smiles reassuringly and nods.

* * *

As I sit in the back of the cab, looking out at Seattle's nightlife, I think about today's events and can't help but smile to myself. Sometimes, things just work out for themselves. _Yeah, and sometimes not._

The sound of my phone ringing brings me out of my reverie. I look at the caller ID and scoff. Ethan. I hit ignore and relax into my seat. My phone starts ringing again. I decide to turn it off, not needing any unwelcome distractions tonight.

I pay the driver as we pull up to the Grey's house. As I walk up to the property, my movements become slower as I take in the cars out front.

I didn't know this was a family dinner. A feeling of unease begins to form in my chest but I push it aside and head up to the door. Carrick didn't mention anything about it being a family dinner.

Before I can knock Mia opens the door and closes it behind her.

"Mia what are you-"

"She's doing it tonight, Ana!" Mia's urgent hushed message sends a wave of dread through me and I take a step back.

"What?" I question, even though I know exactly what she's telling me.

"Kate. The intervention. She's doing tonight. I'm so sorry, I tried calling you but your phone was off!"

I swallow what little saliva I have in my mouth In attempt to soothe the desert that's currently my throat. I can't believe Kate. Deciding to do this at the Grey's. Could she embarrass me any more? I thought I had more time, more time to mentally prepare and pick the answers that everyone would like to hear.

"Ana, you can just leave? I'll tell them you called and are sick."

The pity on Mia's face does nothing but fuel me. I hate pity. I had it enough when my parents died, I don't need it now.

I'm not going home. So I put on my brave face and give Mia a reassuring smile.

"Everyone's waiting, Mia. Let's head inside."

I bypass her and head inside. I hear Mia's nervous voice mutter, "this isn't going to end well..."

I won't let this day win. The prick of a maintenance manager, the brown sludgy water, the twist and turns of tonight and Kate? - I won't let them win.

As I walk towards the living area, I'm being pulled into a room by someone. My eyes adjust to the dimming and I squint in confusion. "Ethan?"

"I tried calling you but you turned your damn phone off. Listen, Ana. Kate's-"

"I know." I cut him off.

His brows shoot up. "You know about the intervention?"

I shrug and play it off. "Yeah."

He doesn't look convinced and I gaze around the closet room to avoid his gaze.

"The closet? Bit dramatic, don't you think? How long were you waiting in here?"

Ethan ignores me and grabs my hand. "I'm sorry, about yesterday. I let Kate get into my head and-"

I place a finger on Ethan's lips, hushing him up successfully. He closes his eyes and leans into my touch.

"I can't stand it when you're mad at me, Ana."

The stubble on his face tickles the palm of my hand and it offers me calming.

"Does Grace and Carrick know about this?" I ask quietly. Was there ever a job offer?

"Kate gave them a run down of the excessive drinking and partying. They're worried, Ana."

I close my eyes, stopping the tears that are threatening to produce. It's one thing to have my friends in on this but Carrick and Grace? The humiliation is already hitting me.

"Hey..." Ethan soothes, taking me in his arms. I'm definitely not prepared to face my God parents over this. This is a whole new ball game.

"Hey. Remember the last time we were in here?"

I look up at Ethan's handsome face and laugh at his smirk. I know what he's doing, he's doing what he does best. He's distracting me.

"Yeah, I remember. You shoved my panties in my mouth cause I was getting too loud."

I smacked his chest and we both laughed.

"As much as I'd love to revisit that night, we should probably head out." He tells me.

I slowly nod my head and turn to leave.

"I'll be right there with you, Ana." Ethan's warm breath caresses the skin on the back of my neck and I close my eyes, soaking in whatever comfort I can get right now.

"Thanks, E."

I open the door quietly and peak my head out. Immediately I'm faced with a large torso covered in a charcoal crisp shirt. I slowly look up and cringe at the grey eyes that are boring into mine.

Ethan gently ushers me out. As soon as the men see each other, the testosterone levels shoot through the roof.

Christians hard eyes roam over us and then look into the closet room we just exited. Great, just great. Why is he even here? I doubt he's a part of this thing Kate's running.

"Grey." Ethan's the first one to break the ice, thank God.

"I just wanted say thanks, for what you did for Ana."

Christians eyes meet mine and I swear this guy is such a closed book. You can never tell what's going on in that head of his. He's been like that since I can remember.

"Yes well, Anastasia has already thanked me."

He turns to leave then stops for a moment.

"Oh and Anastasia, your dress is still at my place from the other night, I had the rips in it repaired, it was the least I could I do."

Ethan's body tenses behind me and I swear I see a hint, a tiny, minuscule of a hint, of a smirk on Christians face.

Christian takes his leave, whilst I'm still standing there, dumfounded. What a cocky, cheeky bastard.

"When the fuck were you at Grey's place and _what_ the fuck were you doing there?" Ethan snarls in my ear.

I roll my eyes and explain, "Relax, he took me to his place to rest after what happened the other night at the club. Nothing happened. I slept alone, that's it."

The look on his face tells me he doesn't believe me and quite frankly it ticks me off. Like I have to explain myself?

"I'm telling you the truth, Ethan." I turn and head towards the living area. As I enter, Grace comes up to me and greets me first. A big kiss on the cheek and a hug only mothers can give.

"How are you my dear?" I see the concern in her eyes and it hits home a bit too much. I shrug and play it off.

"Eh, I'm alright I guess. I have no water at my place so I had to use the gym's shower across the road from me but apart from that, all is good."

I smile and wave at everyone else, Carrick's not here, neither is Christian. I take a seat next to Mia and look to Kate.

"Where's Ava?" I ask her.

"Oh she's with my parents."

I nod my head. Of course Kate wouldn't want Ava here. An intervention is no place for a child. Is it still called an intervention if I knew about it?

Ethan takes a seat next to Elliot, not making any eye contact with me whatsoever. I don't get why he's so upset by this? He knows I sleep with other men, and we're not in any sort of relationship. I decide to tune it all out; I need all the mental strength I can get tonight and I can't be wasting it on Ethan's reasoning.

"Ah, Ana sweetheart, you're here." Carrick's warm voice rings through the air and I can't help but smile. Even though I know he plotted against me. Carrick's warm arms remind me so much of my father's and I revel in that.

Christian remains standing at the entryway, his arms folded across his chest. I notice the room go silent and Mia decides to break the ice.

"Ana, you said you had no water at your place?"

I turn to her and take my seat. "Oh yeah, there's no water in the entire complex. And when the maintenance manager told me there was water, I went to have a shower and the water was brown. It was all in my hair, I was so pissed I went downstairs in nothing but my towel, ready to really give it to em. But the receptionist was actually nice enough to give me her gym card so I went and showered there."

I notice everyone listening intently to my recount, a little too intently and they all laugh awkwardly.

Well, this is the most uncomfortable situation I've ever been in. The awkwardness is so evident as everyone remains silent for a moment. I look to Christian who's just typing away on his phone, not even caring.

I can't take this anymore.

"I know what this is you guys."

All eyes land on me and I roll mine.

"Kate, I overheard you and Mia at Christians the other day. I know this is an intervention. Well, your idea of an intervention anyway."

I mumble the last part, earning a snicker from Mia. She clears her throat to cover it up when Kate shoots her a glare.

"So. Let's have it." I tell everyone. They all look at each other. Grace and Carrick look like they'd rather be anywhere else but here. That gives me a little hope.

"Ok, Ana. Here it goes. You need help. Professional help."

I quirk a brow at Kate and she sits upright, appearing in control of the situation. I hang a leg over the seats arm and gesture for her to continue.

"You're spiralling down hill, Ana. Everyone can see it but you." She tells me.

"Everyone can see it huh? Everyone knows what happened the other night and you think-"

"We've known before that, Ana." Elliot cuts me off and I shake my head at him.

"There's programs, Ana. Programs that help with addiction and depression."

My eyes widen and I laugh out loud at the words that just came out of Kate's mouth.

"Now Kate, I don't think Ana has any problems with depression." Carrick says and I hear Mia and Grace agree. But Kate doesn't let up.

"No? Come on, Carrick. She's never been the same since Ray and Carla died." The mention of my parents names sparks anger in me and I glare at Kate.

"You think we didn't notice the change in you and your behaviour, Ana? We noticed but thought it was your way of handling things so we let it go. We even asked Ethan to keep an eye on you."

My eyes shoot to Ethan, his eyes have averted to the floor. No. I don't believe that. I shake my head in disbelief and defiance.

"No. That's not true. Is it Ethan? Ethan?!"

He turns and gives a nasty look to Kate. It's quite clear he didn't know his part would be brought up tonight.

"Ethan?" I whisper.

"I wasn't forced to help you, Ana, I always wanted to help you." He tells me. He starts to get out of his seat when I shut him down.

"Don't. Don't come near me." The iciness in my voice startles everyone, me included. It's so foreign to my ears.

I stand up from my seat and so does Kate and Ethan. I don't think I can hear anymore of this.

"Ana, everything we did together was all us. No one else. Yeah they told me to keep an eye on you but that was only because they were worried you'd fall into the wrong crowd."

"Well, you didn't really stop that from happening did you, E?"

He frowns at my words, the hurt marring his face. A face I trusted.

"The bad shit you all didn't want me to do? Oh I did it. I did it all with Ethan."

Everyone turns their attention to Ethan, who won't take his eyes off of me. I threw him under the bus but I'm too fucking hurt to care. He doesn't give attention to anyone else though, it's all on me.

I smirk and look at everyone. "Yep. That's right, the alcohol, drugs, and sex, God, the sex. We always had amazing sex didn't we, E? I'll tell ya, you taught me well."

Grace covers her mouth with her hand and Carrick closes his eyes in disappointment. Great, he can't even look at me. "Oh, but... I thought you guys knew? I mean you said you all saw me spiralling down hill." I ask innocently. _Stop_. I can't.

"Ethan definitely saw me spiralling down hill , didn't you E?" I quirk a brow and smirk.

"Enough." Carrick states firmly. I look to him and notice the shine in his eyes. Grace is already crying. Christian is staring at Ethan. Mia looks like she's about to pass out, Elliot is comforting Kate and Ethan, Ethan still hasn't taken his eyes off of me.

I don't stop there though.

"Enough, _dad_? Enough? But I haven't even gotten to the best parts!"

Kate moves away from Elliot and comes face to face with me.

"You can't blame your shitty choices on Ethan, Ana."

I stare at Kate, the person who I considered my best friend since the age of 4 and I don't even recognise her.

Mia's voice interrupts my thoughts. "You guys, maybe we should stop-"

"You know, Kate." I start. "Just because you're failing at parenting Ava, doesn't mean you can try and parent everyone else."

Kate stumbles back like I've slapped her in the face.

 _You need to stop._ No.

"That's not fair, Ana, and you know it." Elliot tells me as he holds Kate.

Kate rips herself out of Elliot's arms, "You'd be such a disgrace to your parents, Ana."

The room gasps. The silence following it deafens my ears.

"Your parents were amazing, Ana. They loved you more than life itself, it was so obvious. You have no excuse to act the way you do when you were brought up by two of the best parents ever known."

"Ana, sweetie-"

"Please, Grace... I can't handle this from you too..." I choke out.

"Ana, the first step is admitting you have a problem." Kate says.

I let out a humourless laugh and roughly wipe the stray tear that falls from my eye.

"Jesus, Kate, where'd you get that? _'Rehabilitation for dummies'?_ "

"Okay enough. We're not continuing this any further." Carrick's voice booms through the room. I look around at the family before me and shake my head. I knew I never belonged here.

I storm out of the room and to the front yard. I hear commotion going on behind me but choose to ignore it. Ethan's voice shouts out in anger but I tune it all out.

As I reach the grass out front I collapse onto my knees. I'm breathing so hard, it's like I can't get enough oxygen into my lungs. I try to move, I try to stand but I can't. A sob escapes my throat and I slap myself across the face to stop it. I grip the grass in my hands and rock back and forth on my knees. Flashes of my life plays before my eyes; My childhood, my parents, their deaths, Ethan...

I feel his presence before I even see him.

"You here for a private show?" I accuse. I stand, turn around and face him. "You didn't get to have your say in there so you thought you'd come out here and give it to me? Huh?"

Christians face remains impassive and it's just makes me even more mad. "Are you fucking deaf?! What the fuck do you want?!" I yell.

He moves towards me, his hard eyes boring into mine. He stops about a foot away from me. Can't this guy take a fucking hint?

"Are you done?" He asks me nonchalantly. My eyes widen in disbelief.

"Am I done?" I repeat. "Am I fucking done?" I think back to what just happened in there with everyone and just give in. I've lost them. I've lost the only family I had left. A family I was never really apart of.

I look down at the ground and do something I haven't done in a very long time. Years maybe. I cry. I let it all out and just cry in the Grey's front yard. I cry for what feels like hours, with Christian just standing there. He hasn't moved a muscle or looked away from me. Finally he takes a step closer to me and places a finger under my chin, tilting my head up to look at him.

As I look into his eyes, I see something flicker in them. Something that look's like understanding. I nod my head... "I think I'm done." In more ways than one.

* * *

 _ **Let me know what you think :) x**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer, Story and original characters are owned by E.L. James - This story and any new characters are mine.**

* * *

 **Chapter Six **

I stare out the window as we pass the streets of Seattle in Christians Audi R8. I don't know how many streets we've turned, or how long we've been driving. What I do know is that I needed to get away from everyone back there. I haven't turned my phone back on but I know it'd be blaring with calls and texts; Maybe not from Kate, but definitely from the Grey's.

Thoughts of Ethan pop into my head and I shut my eyes tight, willing them to go away. Why didn't he just tell me he was put up to helping me? I remember seeing him around a couple of times at parties before we got closer. Did he tell the Grey's what I was up to? Was that why they asked him to watch over me? That's the only reason that could make sense otherwise why ask Ethan of all people? We were always close as kids but I was closer to Kate and Mia.

* * *

 _6 years ago_

 _Tom passes me the joint and I take another hit. My eyes roll back on their own accord as the weed starts taking effect. I feel Simons clammy hand run up my thigh and I manage to swat it away._

 _"I'm nowhere near hammered enough to let you finger me dude." I tell him as the others laugh at his expense. He shrugs it off like every other time and takes a hit. Chuckling, I get up to get a beer from the fridge._

 _As I walk towards the kitchen I see Ethan hanging about on his own, just staring at the guys on the couch. I walk up to him with a smile plastered on my face._

 _Ethan's always been the hot guy. All the girls at school wanted a piece of him or have had a piece of him. He sees me and his face transforms from stern to soft. Ethan's 2 years older than me. I started seeing more of him lately because of the older college kids I've been hanging around. I've been dressing the part, looking a lot older than 17. Ethan and I hardly hung out in our teen years. We see each other around but it's not like we play together like we did as kids anymore._

 _"Hey, Annie."_

 _The use of my nickname is like a bucket of ice being poured over me but I try my hardest to ignore it and keep that smile plastered to my face. Just smile._

 _"Hey, E. How's it going?"_

 _His eyes travel down my body. I'm wearing a cute black halter and red mini skirt. His eyes linger on my bare legs and I start feeling a little tingly._

 _I bite my lip as his eyes reach mine._

 _"It's true. I don't know how that rumour started but I'm telling you, I never bit a guys ear off."_

 _I laugh out loud as I lay back on the grass, outside. Ethan and I have been talking for what feels like hours, having a joint here and there._

 _"What about you?" He asks me as he takes a hit. "Tell me something true about yourself."_

 _I continue to lay there, just staring up at the stars when I feel Ethan lay beside me, his arm brushing against mine. I can feel his eyes on me as I continue to stare up at Seattle's night sky._

 _"I haven't cried once since my parents died."_

* * *

"We're here." Christians voice brings me out of my memories and I lightly shake my head.

I look around and notice we're not in my underground car park, but his. Christian comes to my side of the car and opens my door. "What are we doing here I ask?" As I step out of the car.

"You're in no condition to be alone tonight, Anastasia, and I doubt there's anyone else you'd rather be around right now."

He's right about one thing. There's definitely no one else I can handle being around right now. Not even Jose.

"Christian, I'm fine. I really would like to just go home."

He shuts my door, completely ignoring me and walks towards the elevator. I stand there, not moving a budge. He can't just make me stay at his house.

As he continues walking he yells out "Everything will go a lot smoother if you just agree."

* * *

The elevator ride feels like an eternity. I roll my head and lean back on the wall. I take a deep breath and exhale. I'm starting to feel a bit restless. I need something to rid tonight's memories. It's almost funny, when I'm feeling like this, the first person I turn to is Ethan. I look to Christian; he's nothing like Ethan. What am I even doing here with him?

It's only then I notice the stiffness of his back and the tensing of his jaw.

"Hey, are you okay?" I ask. He simply nods his head and continues to glare at the elevator doors ahead of him. The elevator pings and we finally arrive. Christian rushes out of it like a man on a mission and I follow behind like a lost little puppy.

As he heads to the kitchen I head straight for the couch. I don't have the energy to look around and throw compliments. I really just want to wrap myself into a blanket and never wake up.

 _And you wanted to be alone._

I sit there, just staring ahead at the open space that becomes blurry from the tears that's invading my eyes. I rub them away furiously, angry that I can't seem to stop them.

I feel sweat starting to bead on my forehead and I wipe it away. I really need a fucking drink.

I rub my hands along my jeans as I feel my hands starting to clam.

Christian comes over with two bottles of water. I eagerly take one and down most of it in record time. He sits there, completely unfazed, staring at me.

I put the cap back on the bottle. "Do you have anything... Stronger than this?" I ask. I really need something stronger If I'm going to get through this night.

"Yes."

I feel like crying again but this time from relief. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

"Great, that's great... May I have a drink?" I ask with a smile.

"No."

...

Did he just say no? "Did you just say no?" I ask. He didn't right? I'm hearing things, right?

"I did." He drinks some of his water and places it on the coffee table in front of us. He turns his body towards me and casually places his arm along the back of the couch.

"Ok, Christian... I don't think you fully understand what's happening here."

I _need_ a fucking drink. I need something, _anything._

 _God, you're pathetic._

"Trust me, I understand completely, Anastasia. The last thing you need is to drown your sorrows in a bottle."

I laugh at his audacity. Is this guy fucking serious? Like he _knows_ me, he doesn't fucking know me.

"You know what? I'm out of here." I stand up and head to the elevator. I don't hear Christian following me, which is good. This was such a waste of time. I could've already been tipsy by now or at the very least riding some dude into the black hole I desperately need right fucking now. Why the fuck did he even bring me back here? What was the point of it?

I hit the button a little forcefully, thankful it opens straight away. I step inside and hit the ground button.

"Code needed?!" I snap. What kind of fucking elevator is this? I start banging random numbers in frustration.

"Just let me the fuck out!" I yell. As I continue hitting the numbers, the frustration inside only builds. I can feel it bubbling and it's making me want to rip my own hair out. I start thrashing around the elevator, punching and kicking the walls around me; walls that are closing in... Making it harder for me move. I wiggle my body around the small place, the walls are close to crushing me. Why can't I move?

"Shhhhhh, relax, it'll pass. You need to let it pass." Warm breath tickles the side of my neck and I open my eyes, completely unaware that I had them closed.

I'm still in the elevator but I'm not being crushed in by walls. I feel the wetness on my face and ache of my knuckles.

Strong arms are holding me from behind. I turn my head and look up. "Christian?" I sob softly.

"Come on, you need rest." He grabs my hand and gently guides me out of the elevator.

* * *

My mind is in a complete jumble as I slowly wake from the sound of a piano playing in the distance. I almost think I'm dreaming when my brain catches up and the memories come rushing back.

I sit up and rub my eyes. God, I'm so tired... What time is it? I look to the side of me and see an alarm clock. 4:16AM. My body is begging me to go back to sleep but the sad melody drifting through the air is calling out to me with more persistence.

As I pull the covers off of me I get a serious case of deja vu as I notice the oversized white tee hanging off my frame.

I get out of bed and decide to follow the beautifully tragic notes. My bare feet make no sound as I trudge along the floor.

I'm glued to my spot as I see Christians silhouette bent over a grand piano. The backdrop of Seattle's night sky illuminates just enough of his body to make him recognisable.

He's so engrossed with the music, I almost feel guilty watching him; it seems so intimate.

Suddenly the music comes to a halt and I feel such at loss.

"Please, don't stop." I beg quietly. Christians head turns to mine, I can't tell if he's pissed or not but I just need to hear more.

"Please... Just play a little more."

He sits idle for another moment until the keys start being played again. I make my way over to the piano and just close my eyes, taking it in. It's been so long since I've heard someone actually play the piano; I forgot how at ease it always made me feel.

I open my eyes and see Christian staring at me with an unreadable expression on his face. Not taking his fingers off the keys, he motions for me to sit next to him.

I sit there for a moment, just watching his hands move with such natural ease, dominating the instrument. I'm completely transfixed.

"Do you still play?" He asks me.

Immediately, any sense of ease I felt turns sour and I'm now aware of the reality that is now and that is my fucked up life.

It takes me a moment to realize he's stopped playing, waiting for me to answer.

I clear my throat, "Uh... No I don't. I haven't played for a long time."

Not since my parents died.

We sit there together in comfortable silence.

"I apologize if I woke you." Christian says.

I chuckle and shake my head. "No, you didn't. Well ok you did. But It was a nice wake up call."

I see the hint of a smile on his face and can't believe the difference it makes to it. He should do it more. He's always frowning.

"You should get back to bed. I promise not to disturb you anymore."

I cock my head to the side in fascination.

"You've always been so proper huh? From what I can remember, even as a kid."

He stands up, completely ignoring me and holds out his hand.

"I'll take you back to bed."

I look at his hand and take it. "You know, usually a man buys me dinner and some drinks before taking me to bed... But just drinks is fine I guess" I joke.

Christian doesn't find my attempt at humor funny and continues to drag me to bed. His grip on my hand tightens for just a moment before relaxing again.

 _Tough crowd._

We reach the bedroom and he lets go of my hand. I move to the side of the bed and hop in.

Christians remains standing at the end of the bed, looking uncomfortable, looking like he's in some sort of pain almost. I look around the room and finally realize this was the room I stayed in the other night; Christians room.

"Christian, you don't have to give me your bed. I'm fine with the couch. Trust me, I've slept on worse things."

He shakes his head no. "No, absolutely not. You'll sleep here."

"Where will you sleep then?"

"I don't sleep much, so I'm just going to work in my office."

I remember Mia telling me as a kid Christian had nightmares. I even heard them myself when I'd sleep over there. Does he still have them now?

"You can work in here if you want?" I offer. I really don't want to kick the guy out of his own bed. Again.

"Just bring your laptop in here? I promise I won't disturb you and I don't snore... I think. Well, no one's told me I snore."

I try my hardest to make him relax.

"I promise I don't bite." I offer a reassuring smile, in hopes to win him over but I think all I did was make him even more uncomfortable.

 _Poor guy probably thinks you want to jump him._ Oh my... Maybe he _is_ gay.

"I concentrate more in my office."

I nod my head in understanding and he takes his leave. I snuggle into the massive bed and close my eyes. God, why is it always awkward with him?

Come to think of it, I don't think he had a single friend as a kid... Well I certainly didn't see him hanging around other kids. It was a rare sighting to see him play with his own siblings even. I finally succumb to sleep with thoughts of a little Christian drifting through my head.

* * *

I awake to the most delectable smell gracing the air. My stomach rumbles as I stretch ungracefully across the bed.

"I take it you're hungry then?" I yelp in shock and nearly fall out of the damn bed as Christians voice startles me.

I turn and see he's next to me. In bed. With his laptop in his lap. He's over the covers and there's a substantial amount of distance between us but still...

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

I shake my head, "No, no it's fine. I was just shocked is all."

My stomach growls again and I can't help but giggle.

"But yeah, I could definitely eat."

I watch as he gets out of bed and heads out. I wonder how long he sat here working. Scratch that, I wonder why he changed his mind... I'm not weirded out or anything, I did in fact suggest he stay; he just seemed so adamant about working in his office, almost like it was painful for him to even think about being in the same bed as me.

 _Can you blame the man?_

No, I guess I can't.

* * *

My mouth salivates as I take in the food before me. I take a seat at the breakfast bar and start piling food onto my plate.

"God, I love food. Especially breakfast food."

I hear the smoothest chuckle from next to me and I whip my head towards Christian, with eyes wide.

"Did you just laugh?" I ask aloud.

He quirks a brow and pours himself some coffee. "I'm not a robot, Anastasia. I do have _some_ human qualities."

I can't tell if that was meant to be a joke or not but I laugh regardless. It's seems so impossible that of all the years I've known this man, I've never heard his laugh. I decide not to dwell on it much longer and continue shoveling food onto my plate.

Scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, sausage, hash browns... It's like he has a direct link to my fantasies.

"Did you cook all this?" I ask

"No, my housekeeper, Gail, prepared it all. Are you sure you're able to eat all of that?"

I almost laugh at his question.

"Christian, please. I'll be able to eat this _and_ have room for seconds. You underestimate my love for breakfast, sir."

Christians chokes on his coffee but recovers not a moment after.

"Are you okay?" I ask, my mouth full of eggs.

 _Real classy._

He clears his throat, "Yes, just... Hot."

I nod and turn back to my food.

* * *

I sit there, barely able to keep myself from toppling over the stool. I'm surprised the tee I'm wearing didn't rip into sheds with all the food I shoveled into my mouth.

I didn't lie, I ate all my food _and_ had seconds. I finish off my orange juice and just sit there for another moment, eyes closed, recovering.

"You really do love your breakfast."

I manage to nod my head. Opening my eyes, I sigh and stand up. I start gathering the dishes and get to cleaning.

"Gail will do that, it's fine, Anastasia."

"Are you sure? I really don't mind. It'll-"

"Nonsense." He cuts me off, standing from his stool.

"Why don't you have a shower, get dressed and we can talk?"

My brows rise on their own accord.

"Talk?" I repeat like an idiot.

"Yes, talk. There are some clothes for you in the en-suite. I have some work to do so take your time."

With that, he leaves me in the kitchen looking like a gaping fish. I feel as though this whole situation should be... Odd; but I just can't bring myself to really care. If I'm being completely honest with myself, being here, if only for a night, has helped me not to dwell on the intervention at all.

I wonder why that is?

* * *

I make my way to Christian's en-suite. I didn't spend time admiring it the last time I was here but now that I'm not hungover and in a rush to high tail it out of here, I can actually take my time to appreciate the deep claw foot bath tub that I'm dying to take advantage of.

I waste no time filling the tub and stripping out of my clothes. I grab the bag off the counter and find brand new clothes in there. How the hell did he know my bra size?

I grab the new toothbrush that's in there and start brushing my teeth. As I continue brushing, staring at myself in the mirror, I remember that my phone has been turned off since last night. Still needing the distance between everyone, I decide it'd be best to keep it off.

* * *

The sounds coming out of my mouth as I sink into this glorious tub is unearthly.

I lean back, close my eyes and just relax. Thoughts of Christian pop into my head. Why is he doing all of this for me? He's been taking such good care of me and I've never really had a man do that for me, well not without expecting anything in return. Except for Ethan I guess. Surely he has some sort of motive? Sure we kind of grew up together but we've always been more of... acquaintances than anything.

 _Maybe he's just a nice guy? You ever thought of that?_

Yeah well, I thought Ethan was just a nice guy and look how that turned out. Is that what I'm doing here? Trading one Ethan for the next? No. Right?

* * *

 _6 years ago._

 _I manage to sneak down the staircase without making a single sound. As I creep pass the kitchen, I freeze. Someone's in there. Shit._

 _I pop my head in and see the back of Christian as he grabs something out of the freezer. I didn't know he was back from college? I'm about to make a dash pass the entry way when he turns to the counter. I quickly move away, my back plastered to the wall._

 _I pop my head back around the corner and see him holding a packet of frozen vegetables on his jaw. Did he get into a fight?_

 _He turns toward the sink and I make my escape. I quietly open the door, leaving it on the latch, it doesn't make a sound when I close it._

 _I run to the boat house in a fast pace. Closing the door behind me, I walk into the darkness._

 _"Ethan?" I quietly call out. I walk in further, greeted with nothing but silence._

 _Suddenly, I'm grabbed from behind and am being spun around. I laugh as we both fall to the ground._

 _Ethan silences my laughter with his lips. Kissing me hungrily. The feel of his tongue on mine gives me tingles all over and I start feeling wet down there._

 _We pull away from each other and I try to catch my breath._

 _"Took you long enough." He says with a smirk._

 _"Sorry, Christian was in the kitchen, I had to wait until it was safe."_

 _Ethan scowls and pulls two joints and two small bottles of vodka out of his jacket's pocket._

 _"Guys a fucking weirdo, Annie. Stay away from him."_

 _I scowl back at Ethan. "He's not a weirdo, E. He just doesn't... Like to talk a lot."_

 _"Whatever. Here, drink some of this." I take the bottle and do what I'm told. I cringe at the taste and can't help but cough. Ethan sits there laughing, he takes a swig of his bottle and doesn't seem effected by the taste at all._

 _"You'll get used it over time, don't worry."_

 _I nod my head and take another swig. Ethan pulls out a lighter and puts a joint into his mouth. Before he lights it, he looks to me and takes it out of his mouth._

 _"Listen, Annie. You don't do this with anyone else, you hear me?"_

 _I nod my head, eager to feel the high I've grown to love... And need._

 _"I mean it." I look to him and notice the seriousness on his handsome face._

 _"Anything you want to try, anything you want to do. You do it with me. No one else. We can do all this shit together and I'll make sure you enjoy it okay? I'll keep you safe. There are some sick fuckers out there who'll only take advantage of a girl in your state."_

 _I frown at the use of his words. "What do you mean a girl in my state?" I ask._

 _"You know... Drunk and blazed."_

 _I relax and nod my head. He lights up the joint, takes two hits and then passes it to me._

 _It doesn't take too long for the effect to kick in and for that I'm grateful. I feel Ethan's lips on my neck and my head rolls to the side, giving him better access to it. I take another hit but before I can exhale, Ethan grabs my face and put his mouth on mine. I exhale into his mouth, his tongue sliding along my bottom lip._

 _"'Mmmm you make it taste sweet."_

 _I lay back as Ethan continues his glorious assault on my body; licking, kissing, nipping his way around. I feel the hardness between his legs and open my legs wider for him. He grinds himself on me and it's the most intense feeling I've ever felt. A soft moan escapes my lips. I hear Ethan chuckle against my neck and I can't help but feel a tad embarrassed. I've never done anything like this before, he can probably tell._

 _I hear the sound of grass rustling from outside and turn to see the dark outline of someone through the hazy glass. I quickly sit up and shove Ethan off of me._

 _"What's wrong?" He asks, confusion etched on his face._

 _"I think there's someone out there." I say, panic lacing my voice. "I think they were watching us."_

 _Ethan shakes his head and pulls me into his arms. "It's just the weed, Ana. It can make you paranoid."_

 _I sink into Ethan's body and nod my head, forgetting all about it and focusing on the good times._

* * *

The sound of knocking startles me out of my memories and I sit up taller in the tub.

"Anastasia, are you alright? You've been in there for a while." Christians voice comes through the door.

I hop out of the now cold tub and wrap a large fluffy towel around my body.

"I'm fine, sorry, I must've zoned out for a while. I'll be out there soon." I call back.

I shake my head and stare at my reflection in the mirror.

"Stop it." I tell myself. "Stop thinking about him."

* * *

I see Christian sitting on the couch and make my way over there.

He's typing away on his phone as I sit in the chair opposite him.

"Did you enjoy your bath?" He asks, his eyes still glued to the screen on his phone.

"I did, very much actually. I might have to break in every now and then to use it." I tuck my legs under my butt and look around the place as Christian continues typing on his phone.

"So, I wanted to talk to you about possible employment at my company, Anastasia. Is that something you'd be interested in?"

I sit there, in stupid silence as Christian places his phone in the pocket of his pants and sits back, crossing his leg so his ankle is resting on his knee.

 _Stop staring at the mans legs and answer him._

"Uh, Christian... I'm really grateful you'd offer but I can find something for myself."

He quirks his brow, "What's wrong with my company?"

"Oh, nothing... Nothing at all! But it's just... I don't have _anything_ to offer your company. Trust me, you don't want to hire me." I laugh but end up clearing my throat in awkwardness.

"My father seems to think it'd be beneficial for me to hire you. He seemed quite confident of it yesterday evening when were discussing it."

I sit up straight at this new bit of information. So that's why Christian was there? Did Carrick really have a job offer for me?

"I didn't think you'd want to discuss this with him so I thought I'd offer the job personally."

Christian wants me to work for him? Is that what this is all about? Does he think I'm some charity case?

"Look, Christian. Again, I appreciate the offer but I'll most likely stuff this up somehow. It's kind of my talent."

"I disagree. I think this would be also be beneficial for you, Anastasia. Your life isn't running the smoothest right now, you're living your life on a get by basis; this can help you. You can find actual purpose, reason and responsibility."

I close my eyes and let out a clipped laugh. I see what this is. Wow, I just can't catch a break.

"Okay, let me guess, Carrick and Grace put you up to this?"

His brows pinch together in what is supposed to look like confusion and I fold my arms. Oh he's good.

"They get you to watch over me, make sure I don't drink myself into a coma and then you give me a one on one? Is that it? Because you know, that makes a whole lot of sense. Fuck, I did it again."

I stand up from my seat and head to grab my stuff.

"This is exactly what happened with Ethan." I mutter.

"I'd appreciate it if you refrain from comparing me to that poor excuse of a _man._ " The venom in Christians voice can't be missed.

I grab my bag and shoes and head to the elevator.

"He, a 19 year old _boy._ Took advantage of a young girl who was obviously in grieving. He was given the responsibility of looking out for you when all he did was enable your choices, making them easy for you to make. The alcohol, the drugs, the sex."

I turn around and face Christian in the eye, I can feel my body shaking in anger.

"What the fuck do you know about any of it? Huh? News flash, we never spoke as children, played as children, you never even looked my fucking way. You can blame Ethan all you want, Christian, but he was actually there, he actually made me forget, he made me _live_ again."

He stands there, his stupid handsome face so impassive I just want to fucking hit it.

"If that's what your idea of living is then maybe you two are better off together." He simply states.

"Like you know what living is? Here you are with your tower in the sky-"

"I know a lot more than you think." He cuts me off.

"Your life? I've lived it. I know what's it like to be taken advantage of, to think someone is helping you when they're only helping themselves. I know it all too well."

I think about his nightmares and suddenly remember his fear of touch, all of us being told as children not to touch certain areas of his body. How did I forget about that?

"You can't fight everyone who wants to help you, Anastasia. You're so quick to run in denial it's unhealthy. I don't agree with how last night's events were handled and my brothers wife ability to butt into the lives of others will never cease to amaze me, but you do need help."

He steps closer to me and wipes the stray tear that has escaped my eye. I turn my head, ashamed that I'm crying, yet again. Ashamed that I stuck up for Ethan even though be betrayed me.

Christian grabs my bag and shoes out of my hand and places them to the side. He tilts my chin up, his silver eyes staring into my blues.

"I can help you, Anastasia. You just have to trust me. I know it's a lot to ask right now but who else can you turn to? There's only destruction waiting for you at home."

"Ana." I say as I sniff. He stares at me, brows pinched.

"I prefer to be called Ana. I tried to get used to you calling me Anastasia but I just can't."

"But it's such a beautiful name." He tells me.

"Yeah well, it makes me feel like I'm about to get punished."

* * *

 **Please let me know your honest thoughts.**


End file.
